


After rain there's always rainbow

by Shinitaichan



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:55:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23566426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinitaichan/pseuds/Shinitaichan
Summary: In a world where you only can see colors once you touched your soulmateTwo boys struggle to find their place in all of thisIt's a story of a detective trying to solve the hardest mystery of all.Saiouma
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 21
Kudos: 247





	1. Chapter 1

Ever since he remembered, his world was black and white. At first, he thought that was just the way it is but soon was told otherwise. His mother, always excited, often pointed at various things and exclaimed “that’s red!” or “that’s blue!”. His father would then shush her, though Shuichi always noticed a warm smile on his face. He would smile as well then, yearning to see what they were seeing. Yearning a soulmate of his own. 

He would ask his parents over and over again about their story to the point he knew all the details. Then, he would lay in his bed, imagining all possible scenarios of his meeting with his soulmate. In all of them they ended up living happily ever after in a world full of colors and cheer. 

When he was sixteen, his parents died in a car accident and he had to move to his uncle's place. That meant changing school and bidding his friends farewell. 

His uncle was… weird. He would often shut himself in his office for days, working. Shuichi never asked about his work. He knew his uncle managed a detective agency, being a top detective himself, but was never interested in details. Then, one day he was reading an article about the recent murder of some family in the living room when Hiroshi, his uncle, exited his office with a somewhat worried expression and sat down next to him on the couch. 

"Is everything alright?" Shuichi asked, putting the newspaper down.

"I don't even know, kid. There's that case I'm working on… tough thing. People are dying and I've no idea who's behind this."

"Oh…"

"I need a drink." he went to the kitchen and came back holding a glass filled with whiskey. 

And Shuichi was speechless. He knew that ever since his parents died, Hiroshi had a problem with alcohol, but didn't feel obligated to interfere. And now, as he watched his uncle in such a bad state, he finally felt _something_. He couldn't identify it, but it was there, making him worry about that man. 

"Maybe tell me more about this case, maybe talking about it will help you."

Hiroshi halted. His hand stopped in midair and his expression was of pure shock. 

"Listen, kid, if you think this is some kind of game…"

"No, not at all. I just want to help."

"Help, you say…" he was silent for a moment, "Alright then, let's see what you got. All I figured out is on my desk, you can check it out if you want to. I'm gonna finish my drink while you're on it."

Shuichi entered Hiroshi's room for the first time. 

The room was not-at-all-surprisingly messy. It was dark and kinda cozy. Familiar. Bigger than he imagined. There were lots of bookcases filled with files, probably evidence from previous cases. He walked up to the desk, on which lied a bunch of paper sheets. He picked them up and read one by one. 

The victim was Taro Satsuma. He was killed yesterday night. The culprit stabbed him with a sharp object, presumably knife that was found in a near trashcan. There were two witnesses and fingerprints from the knife were still being examined. The first witness, Sachiko Mayushi was working as a charwoman and was the one to find the body. The second one, Ichigo Kurosawa was a former employee of Taro Satsuma. He was fired two days prior and was found near his house, drunk and unconscious.

Shuichi tapped his chin, thinking. 

"And? Figured it out yet?" he heard and turned around to see Hiroshi standing at the entrance holding a full glass. 

"I'd like to talk to the witnesses."

Hiroshi laughed. 

The woman was crying. 

"I can't go to jail, I can't go to jail, I can't…" she kept saying. 

"You're not going to. The kid is just gonna ask you some questions, alright?" Hiroshi said, pointing at Shuichi, who was hiding behind his uncle. Maybe it wasn't a good idea after all. But he was curious, he honestly wanted to catch the culprit. "Go ahead, kid."

He nodded. 

"Tell me what you saw."

"I-I just came to work. I'm cleaning his- I mean, Mr. Satsuma's apartment every day and- oh god, I saw him… I saw him in his bed. I-I thought he was sleeping, I… I didn't know he was… dead…"

"Does Mr. Satsuma have any enemies?" 

"Oh, lots of them… Nearly every day I have to clean up shattered window…"

"Does anyone else have keys to Mr. Satsuma's apartment?" 

"No, I think not…"

"And you haven't let anyone in?" 

The woman was silent for a moment too long. 

"I haven't," 

"You hesitated," 

"N-no-! I mean… I lost my keys recently, but my sister found them almost immediately, I'm sure no one else had them!" 

"Your sister?" Shuichi tapped his chin, "Uncle? I'd like to talk to Mrs. Mayushi's sister as well" 

Hiroshi nodded with a proud smile, so like his father's. 

Mrs. Mayushi's sister was very unlike her. She was taller and had a different body shape in general. He would never guess they were related. 

"I'm Shuichi Saihara, and you are…?" he introduced himself, shaking her hand 

"Suzu Takeuchi," the woman smiled a smile he's seen before. 

Instantly, dots in his head connected and his heart started to pound. He recognized the name from today's newspaper he was reading earlier. Takeuchi family was murdered. Could it be… revenge? 

"Tell me, Mrs. Takeuchi… was it Taro Satsuma who killed your family?" 

The woman tried to free her hand but Shuichi only gripped harder. 

"Let go!" 

"Was it?" 

"You-!" she made an expression so hateful he let go of her hand, "You think you bring justice by catching the murderers, but look at me! Who's the justice now? Where were you when he was slaughtering my husband and child!?" 

Shuichi took a step back. 

"I-I…"

"Enough," Hiroshi stepped in. 

"And what about you, Mr. Detective!? This child is smarter than you!" 

"Yeah, yeah…" he lit a cigarette. "Police is on their way." he smiled at Shuichi "Good job, kid." 

The letter from the Ultimate Initiative came two days later. He was chosen to become the Ultimate Detective and a student of the Ultimate Academy. 

“So, what about some celebration, kid?” Hiroshi patted his back, reading the letter as well, “You wouldn’t believe how much booze do I have hidden all around the place!” 

He was obviously drunk already, even though it wasn’t even noon and Shuichi should just refuse and go to his room, read a book or something. But he couldn’t. That proud smile he saw the other day, that pat on his back… Somehow, he felt like he couldn’t leave the man alone in this state. So he let him fill the glass he was holding with another drink, and he even accepted one glass of his own. 

“I don’t deserve this,” Shuchi muttered underneath his breath. 

“What was that?” 

“Ah, nothing, I was just-”

“Listen up, kid. You get the opportunity many, many wish for. So don’t be such an ungrateful brat and start being confident.” Hiroshi wasn’t looking at him as he spoke, his gaze was focused on his glass, but Shuichi still had a feeling his uncle saw right through him. “Trust me, your parents would be proud.”

A single tear escaped his eye. Hiroshi pretended he didn’t see.

His first day at the Ultimate Academy didn’t go exactly as he imagined it would. As he approached the school building, he was so scared he thought he would faint. But he bravely continued to walk. “Your parents would be proud,” Hiroshi said, and Shuichi looked up at the sky as if to seek confirmation. 

“Hey, watch where you’re going!” he heard suddenly and flinched, “Haha, chill dude!” a tall boy who wore his jacket in a weird way laughed.

“I-I’m sorry!” Shuichi squicked and the boy patted his shoulder.

“I’m Kaito Momota! The luminary of the stars! And you are…?”

“Ah, nice to meet you, Momota-kun, I’m Shuichi Saihara.”

“Oh, Kirumi told us about a new student named so! You’re the Ultimate Detective, right?” he didn’t even have time to nod as Kaito continued to talk, “I’ll introduce you to the others!”

“Thank you,” he smiled softly and looked at the building again. And his heart skipped a beat as he noticed something, no, someone on the rooftop. “Is this person going to jump!?” he panicked,

Kaito looked up and laughed, “It’s probably just-”

But Shuichi wasn’t listening anymore, he ran. He ran as fast as he could.

Finally, he reached the rooftop after bumping into a dozen people. And there he was, a petite boy, sitting right on the edge. 

“Hey!” detective shouted and the boy made a weird squicking sound turning around 

“Hey, you scared me! What if I fell down, huh? You would be responsible for my death! What would you do then, huh? Huh?”

Shuichi took a step back, “I-I’m so sorry, I just saw you up here and thought you were going to jump…”

And the boy made a serious expression, “Well, that was the plan,” he shrugged, “But your sincere expression of worry is so cute I changed my mind.”

And Shuichi was speechless. The boy started laughing as if it was the funniest thing that ever happened to him.

“You should see your expression now!” he pointed at him, “I was lying, of course! I’m a liar after all!”

“W-wha-!?” was all Shuichi could muster.

“Man, you’re a funny one! How come I’ve never seen you around?” and his smile grew bigger, “Ah, I know, you must be the new one. Shuichi Saihara, the Ultimate Detective. Pleasure meeting you, Saihara-chan! I’m Kaito Momota, the luminary of the stars!”

And Shuichi’s mind went blank. He couldn’t follow this boy, not even a bit. 

“How many Kaito Momotas are here, exactly?” he asked half-jokingly.

The boy laughed a laugh so sincere Shuichi couldn’t help but laugh too. 

“Ouma, you little-!” they heard and turned around to see the first Kaito Momota standing at the roof entrance. 

“Oh, fancy seeing you here, Momota-chan!” _Ouma_ , as he was called, waved his hand.

“Kirumi forbade you from being on the rooftop, remember? So get out.”

“You’re no fun!” he stuck his tongue out.

“Don’t make me kick you out forcefully again.”

The boy sighed. 

“What a life…” he looked down and then at them and down again.

“What are you doing!?” Shuichi and Kaito shouted in unison.

“Killing myself, obviously. Farewell, cruel world!” and he jumped before any of them comprehended what was happening. 

They ran up to the fence and looked down. 

“Stupid little brat” Momota murmured.

Ouma was waving at them from the open window below. 

Kaito led the way to their classroom. Once they stepped inside, everyone greeted him warmly, introducing themselves and talking about the school. Soon, the bell rang and they all took their seats. Shuichi noticed two empty ones and hesitated. After a moment, he chose the one next to the window, but the desk was covered with cuts and burns and he got scared. He took the other seat, just next to the previous one. Soon, the teacher arrived and started the lesson. 

“Hey,” the girl on his right whispered to him, “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah… but what’s up with that desk?” 

“Ah, it’s Ouma’s,” she said as if it explained everything. He stared at her for a moment, “He cuts it when he’s bored during classes.”

“I see,” was all he could say. Suddenly, the door opened and Ouma stormed in.

“Hey, Ouma-kun! Try to make it on time in the future, okay?” the teacher said as if he didn’t care and continued his lecture. 

The boy sat down next to him and Shuchi couldn’t look away. The boy was a mystery. And somehow, he was both scared of and attracted to this... _feature_. 

“Is there something wrong with my face?” Ouma asked, grinning. 

But Shuichi wasn’t listening. He couldn’t find a thing about this boy that he could be certain of. He was the definition of the unknown. Well, he talked to him once, but still, there was that aura of secrecy around him, covering every part of his body, so that Shuichi wasn’t even sure how the boy really looked. And he kinda wanted to. He wanted to see, to hear, to _know_. To know…

“...everything…” he whispered.

The girl next to him laughed as Ouma’s grin faded. 

“What’s so funny, Akamatsu?” the teacher asked.

“Ah, I’m sorry, I just remembered something-”

“I’m wounded, Saihara-chan!” Ouma interjected, “In fact, I think I’m gonna cry!” and surely his eyes welled up with tears.

“Not again!” Kaito shouted.

“Ah! I’m so sorry! What did I do?” Shuichi’s heart sped up as he realized he might’ve said something stupid.

“You betrayed my trust in you! You insulted me, you hurt me, you-” and he turned to Akamatsu, who was still giggling.

“What did I do?”

“I think you just fell in love.” she continued to laugh.


	2. Chapter 2

The bell rang. Some of Shuichi’s classmates exited the classroom and some of them stayed and chatted with each other. The detective found himself unable to move as he watched Ouma storm out of the room. It wasn’t like Akamatsu said. What he felt for the boy was a mere curiosity, it was far from love. He knew it perfectly well. But as he looked at his classmates, he wondered if they were aware of it as well. He felt their gaze on himself and couldn’t help but look down, covering his face with his hands. 

“Hey,” Akamatsu accosted him, “Are you okay?”

“Everyone is looking at me,”

“So look back at them. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I can’t. I can’t look people in the eyes.”

“Of course you can. Just a moment ago you were staring at Ouma!” she giggled.

Shuichi only covered himself more. 

“Hey, I’m sorry,” she said, “I just think it’s cute. Your interest in him, I mean. He’s indeed a mystery. But he’s also hard to deal with, you’ll get it soon enough. Nobody can stand him in the long run. Maybe except Amami-kun, but he’s extraordinarily patient.”

“Yeah, well, I had a chance to see what he’s capable of.” he smiled, “He jumped off the rooftop!” 

“Yeah, that’s his usual Monday.” and they both laughed, “I’m Kaede Akamatsu, by the way. Just call me Kaede, okay?”

“Shuichi Saihara,” he smiled.

“So, Shuichi, how did you become the Ultimate Detective?”

“Ah, it was an accident. My uncle has this detective agency and he was struggling with a case and I helped him solve it. Purely by accident.”

“You can’t solve a case by accident, silly.”

“I-” 

“You’re not chosen by the Ultimate Initiative by accident, too. You must be a true detective!”

He sighed, “I’m no detective. Just a boy.”

“Just a boy who happened to solve a case a professional couldn’t solve.”

“And what Ultimate are you?”

She clapped her hands with glee, “I’m the Ultimate Pianist! You should stop by the music classroom someday! I’m part of the music club, you could listen to us playing!”

“Yeah, gladly,” he smiled. Kaede smiled back.

“Boo!” Shuichi heard and flinched. He didn’t even notice that Ouma entered the classroom. And yet, here he was, scaring him from behind. 

“O-Ouma-kun!”

“That’s me!” he exclaimed, “Or not? Maybe I’m the real Kaito Momota! Tell me, Saihara-chan, which one of us looks more like a Kaito Momota? Me or Momota-chan?”

And Shuichi couldn’t help but smile. 

“Well? Stop smiling like a creep and tell me!”

“Ah! Was my smile weird? I’m so sorry!”

“Yeah, very weird indeed. The weirdest, creepiest smile I’ve ever seen!” 

“Hey, stop harassing him!” Kaito approached them.

“He’s the one harassing me!” 

“Ah! I-I didn’t-!” Shuchi stuttered. 

“Oh, you did, Saihara-chan! I must say, your words hurt me deeply!” 

“I’m sorry, I-”

“Don’t bother, dude,” Kaito waved his hand dismissively, “Ouma is just messing with you.”

“Oh man, you’re no fun, Momota-chan!”

“I don’t care, just leave him alone. Nobody wants you here.”

Shuichi could swear that for a moment Ouma’s smile faded, but he blinked and everything was back to normal. 

“What’s going on here?” a boy with a lot of piercings appeared just next to Ouma as if guarding him.

“Amami, tell your little friend over here to leave Saihara alone.”

“Why?”

“It’s okay, Amami-chan,” the petite boy said, “I can take care of myself.”

Amami just looked at his friend with a face so grim Shuichi froze for a moment. 

“Besides, I was just on my way out.” he turned to Shuichi with a cheerful expression, “See you around, Saihara-chan!” And he ran.

“Where are you going?” Amami chased after him.

“Are you okay?” Kaito asked, “He can be a real pain in the ass so if he ever bothers you again just call me!” 

Shuichi didn’t know what to say. He settled for “Thanks.”

Ouma didn’t show up at any of the following classes. Shuichi watched the empty seat, somewhat charmed. He knew absolutely nothing about the boy. His name, his talent, nothing. And he felt confused. He wanted to get to know him, to solve this mystery. And at the same time, he was scared. Scared of revealing the truth. Because some things are better left unspoken. Maybe Ouma’s case is one of them. 

It was starting to rain. Droplets of water were lazily falling down from the sky and hitting the ground. Shuichi closed his eyes listening to this sound. And he wondered, was Ouma listening as well?

“Hey, Shuichi, the class is almost over, what about a tour around the school?” Kaede asked with a smile.

“Ah, yeah, sure!” 

And so once the class ended, Akamatsu showed him the school. As they were walking down the corridor, he looked through the window. It was raining cats and dogs and he almost couldn’t tell what was he looking at. A silhouette, still, not moving at all, not escaping the rain. Just standing. He could’ve sworn it was Ouma. He looked at Kaede, who was waiting for him patiently and back through the window. There was no one. He must’ve been imagining things. They continued their tour.

“Here we are! The music classroom!” Akamatsu exclaimed, pointing at the door in front of them. 

‘We’re helping to prepare annual talent show at the gym. Club activity is canceled today.’ note on the door said.

“What a shame,” Kaede sighed. 

“There’s always tomorrow,” he said, trying to console the girl. 

She smiled, “We’re breaking in.”

Sure enough, Kaede led the way to the lodge.

“Distract the keeper and I’ll steal the key,” she whispered.

“B-but-”

“No buts! You can do it!”

He gulped down his fear and stepped forward.

“Uh, e-excuse me!” he shouted and the keeper approached him, “Uh… where is the toilet?” was all he could think of.

“At the end of the corridor,” the man said and was about to walk away.

“Uh… can you walk me there?” 

The keeper looked at him doubtfully but obeyed. The walk was awkward and long but he bought Kaede enough time. Once they reached the toilet Shuichi thanked the man and not thinking much just walked away in the direction of the music classroom. Soon, Kaede caught up.

“Good job, Shuichi!” she shouted. Once they reached their destination, Akamatsu unlocked the door and they stepped in. The girl approached the piano and started playing. 

She played and played and he listened and listened. He closed his eyes and let himself be lulled by the music. 

“That was amazing,” Shuichi said later on. 

The girl smiled, “Thanks. You know, for me, playing the piano is an addiction at this point. And I think that everyone at this school is addicted to something. You included.”

“What am I addicted to, then?”

“Truth,” 

He didn’t answer.

They headed to the lodge, but it was already closed.

“You hold on to the key, we’ll return it tomorrow,” Kaede said and he nodded.

His uncle was already waiting for him in his car when they exited the school. He said goodbye to Akamatsu and got in. 

“Hey kid, how was the first day?” Hiroshi asked. He was visibly drunk and Shuichi wondered how did he manage to drive all the way here. 

“It was okay.”

“Who’s the blonde girl?” he grinned, poking Shuichi’s arm. At first, he didn’t notice anything out of ordinary about this sentence, but after a moment dots in his head connected.

“How do you know she was blonde?”

Hiroshi was silent for a moment. 

“An educated guess,”

“Who’s your soulmate?”

“I don’t have one,”

He didn’t know what to do. Hiroshi was stubborn and he wasn’t sure if pushing was a good idea. But he wanted to know, he was unbearably curious. He had this soulmate obsession ever since he was a kid and the idea of Hiroshi having one was… interesting. 

“Except you do,” he didn’t know where was this courage coming from. He didn’t know why was he able to talk back. Hiroshi’s face turned blank. It was as if he was completely sober suddenly. Still driving, he looked at Shuichi.

“No. End of discussion.”

Shuichi gulped down his curiosity and stopped talking. 

He awoke to the sound of glass shattering. He lazily got up, not really comprehending what was happening. Slowly, step by step, with his eyes closed he went to the living room. There he was - Hiroshi, on his knees, in a state worse than he had ever seen. Empty bottles of vodka and whiskey were lying all around the room. Hiroshi was crouching on the glass shards, making a weird noise. As if… sobbing?

“Uncle?” he approached the man and put a hand on his back. Hiroshi didn’t react. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked, even though it was clear he wasn’t. 

“Go to sleep, kid.” he murmured so quietly Shuichi almost missed that.

“What’s going on?” and the man fell down to the floor. 

“It was Michiko.” he blurted. 

Shuichi hadn’t heard that name in a long time. At the sound of it, his heart started to pound. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he slowly comprehended what that meant.

“My mother? But-” 

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

“What happened?”

“She chose your father, obviously.”

“But why?”

Hiroshi was silent for a moment. 

“When I met her, she was already your father’s girlfriend. He wanted to introduce her to the family. And as we were shaking hands… it was as if the world exploded. Everything started to be clear, colorful, full. We were seeing each other behind your father’s back for a long time. Only when she got pregnant she told me to stay away from her and her family. We had this big fight and we parted once and for all. I never got to see you, or my brother. Or my beloved. And now, both my sibling and soulmate are dead. And I don’t know what to do. I-I… I just can’t do this anymore. I…” 

Shuichi did the first thing that came to his mind. He hugged him. The man didn’t hug back. He just half-lied there, as if unconscious, not moving. He was covered in small cuts from the glass shards he was laying on, so Shuichi got the first-aid kit and treated him. 

He didn’t know what to think about what he just heard. He always imagined his family as a happy one. He always believed his parents were soulmates. His mother was always talking about colors and his father was always smiling then. And yet, everything he knew was built on a lie. He imagined his parents to be a perfect couple after all. So how was it possible? Just how? Why?

“This is so messed up…” he murmured.

His uncle half-smiled. “Yeah…”

And after a moment of silence, he added, “So who’s the blonde girl?”

“Ah, she’s a classmate.”

“How are your classmates? Nice?”

“They’re all looking at me as if I’m an animal in a zoo. I hate it. I hate looking people in the eyes.”

Hiroshi got up, “I have something that can help.” he unsteadily went to his bedroom and after a moment returned, holding something in his hands. 

“Here, it belonged to me when I was starting my job as a detective.” it was a cap with three stripes lining the back of it, and a star pinned near the front. “I was afraid of people I was calling culprits and this cap helped. But when I met your mother, I realized I didn’t need it anymore. I’m sure you’ll come to the same conclusion someday. For now, it’s yours.” 


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, Shuichi lurked by the lodge to return the key. He felt uneasy. He wasn’t used to breaking rules and there he was, breaking into the music classroom with a stranger. His heart was beating fast as he waited for the right moment. 

“Ah!” a gasp escaped his throat as someone bumped into him, sending him to the ground.

“I’m sorry, Saihara-kun,” Amami said and helped him get up while Ouma, who was next to them laughed his head off. 

“It’s alright,” he smiled, “It’s nice to see you, too, Ouma-kun” 

“I know, right?” the petite boy laughed some more, “Man, what’s up with this emo hat? Why are you wearing it?” Shuichi was about to answer, but then something else caught Ouma’s attention. “Oh, what do we have here?” he noticed the key to the music classroom on the floor. It must’ve slipped out of Saihara’s hand as he fell down. The boy fetched the key with a grin. “A thief? In our school? Amami-chan, do you see what I’m seeing? Cute little Saihara-chan is emo  _ and  _ a thief!”

“Yeah, yeah, now return the key and let’s go to the classroom,” Amami said calmly.

Shuichi wished he could disappear, he was so embarrassed. But no matter how much he wished for it, he was still next to Ouma who was laughing and laughing. 

“No way! I’m having way too much fun!” 

“Well then, don’t be late again,” Amami sighed, “Good luck, Saihara-kun,” and he walked away.

“So-”

“Ouma-kun,” fists clenched tightly, Shuichi mustered all of his courage to say those words, “It occurred to me that we never introduced each other properly. I’m Shuichi Saihara, so-called the Ultimate Detective.” he reached out to shake Ouma’s hand, but the boy just took a small step back.

“I won’t touch a dirty thief,” he stuck out his tongue, “Alrighty then, I’m Kokichi Ouma, the Ultimate Supreme Leader.”

“Are you messing with me again?”

“Not at all! I swear to speak the truth, the whole truth, and only the truth! Scout word!” 

“Are you a scout?”

“Well, of course, I wouldn’t give you a scout word if I weren’t! I’ll tell you more! I’m the supreme leader of all scouts! That’s how I got my title - I had to fight the previous supreme leader and kill him! Man, it was a tough one! I had to use my secret technique!” 

“Okay, you are messing with me,” but even though, Shuichi couldn’t help but smile.

“What are you gonna do about it, Mr. Detective?” Kokichi leaned forward a bit, putting his hands on his hips. Somehow, Shuichi didn’t mind the boy’s attitude. Actually, he found it amusing. Forgetting about his shyness, forgetting about manners, forgetting about the whole world, he said:

“I guess I’ll have you arrested,” he leaned forward as well, playing Kokichi’s game.

“I’d like to see you try,” Ouma grinned.

And not thinking much, Shuichi reached out to grab his arm. He didn’t notice the widening of the boy’s eyes as he took a step back. 

“W-wha?” Saihara stood there, dumbfounded for a moment as Kokichi pulled himself together.

“I told you, I won’t touch a dirty thief, haha.” the boy laughed awkwardly trying to cover his… fear?

“Are you afraid?” 

Kokichi took another step back, “Afraid? Me?” he laughed his awkward laugh again, “No. Just... disgusted. Yeah, disgusted! I hate thieves! Thieves are just the worst!”

“Hey, what are you scared of?”

And for a moment, neither of them said anything. Then, Kokichi giggled quietly. He started laughing louder and louder. This time, it was his usual laugh. 

“Oh man, you really fell for it! I was lying, of course! I’m a liar after all! Thought you knew it already!” 

Shuichi looked at the boy carefully. Now was a good time to be a detective they all believed him to be. But Kokichi was unreadable. He felt like he could fall for all of his lies because if there was one thing he was certain of, it was that Kokichi was full of bullshit and he was no detective.

“What’s up with you?” he asked, quietly. And what happened next, Shuichi wasn’t sure. He would remember it perfectly well, but couldn’t explain, couldn’t comprehend. 

For a blink of an eye, Kokichi gave him a sad smile and said: “Everything,” then walked away. 

When he stepped into the classroom, Kokichi was already there, looking through the window. Amami was standing just next to him, saying something, but the boy seemed like he wasn’t listening. Shuichi slowly walked towards his desk, somewhat scared, but Kokichi didn’t even spare him a glance. 

Amami, on the other hand, looked at him with an unreadable expression, stopped talking and took his seat. 

Shuichi wanted to say something to Ouma but didn’t know what, so he just kept quiet. 

During class, their form tutor entered the classroom and whispered something to the teacher. Then, they both looked at all of them, before speaking up.

“There’s one matter I would like to discuss with you,” Ms. Yukizome - their form tutor said, “The key to the music classroom is missing from the lodge and the keeper testified that someone from your class was hanging around the lodge yesterday. Does anyone want to confess?”

Shuichi’s heart sped up. He was doomed. He was oh so doomed. He looked at Kaede as if to seek protection, but the girl pretended she didn’t see it. 

“I promise to treat you kindly if you admit it.”

“It sounds like Ouma’s doings again, doesn’t it?” Kaito said.

“It certainly does, but-” Kirumi spoke up, but was interrupted by Kaito.

“That little brat did it, I’m sure!”

“Language, Momota-kun.” Ms. Yukizome scolded him, “Ouma-kun, do you have the key?”

Kokichi looked bored as he watched his nails, “Yeah, I do.”

“Why? You know that breaking the law in your situation isn’t the best idea. I can’t protect you forever.” she sighed, “Come on, hand the key over and let’s go see the headmaster.”

He slowly got up and walked out of the classroom straightened up, while everyone was looking at him. Kaito shouted a few mean lines but the boy pretended he didn’t hear them. 

Shuichi felt a sting in his heart. He couldn’t tell why.

After the class ended, he decided to look for Kokichi and talk to him. He was thinking about what would he say once he found him, creating multiple scenarios in his head. He wanted to be prepared. 

But he couldn’t find him. No matter where he went, there was no sign of the boy. It was as if he vanished, disappeared. Finally, as he was outside and about to give up, he saw him on the rooftop. Exactly like the previous day, he ran. But this time, not to save the boy, but to save himself.

“Ouma-kun!” he shouted as he reached the roof. The boy flinched, got up and slowly stepped towards Shuichi. Detective watched him, waiting for what was about to happen. Then the boy passed him and ran.

“Ouma-kun!” Shuichi chased after him, “Ouma-kun, wait!” 

But the boy continued to run. 

“Ouma-kun!”

But he didn’t stop.

“ _ Kokichi _ !”

And he halted. As if frozen, the boy stopped moving at all. Shuichi walked up to him. 

“What did you say?” he whispered so softly it almost felt as if the wind said that.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cross the boundaries. But you wouldn’t listen to me, I didn’t know what to do.”

“No, no. Just… what did you call me?” 

“Uh… Kokichi?”

And the boy started laughing softly. 

“Yeah, of course. That’s my name after all!” 

Shuichi was so confused he could only watch the boy. 

“So? Why were you chasing me like some kind of predator after its prey?”

“Ah, uh…” suddenly, everything he thought up earlier disappeared from his head. “W-Why did you take the blame for me?”

“I didn’t. The question was if I had the key, not if I’ve stolen it. So I said the truth.”

“But-”

“I convinced the headmaster not to call the police. He said it was the last time. But hey, it’s not the first time he’s saying so!”

“Are you often getting into trouble?” 

“Oh, poor, naive, emo Saihara-chan…” he grinned, “My whole existence is trouble!”

Shuichi smiled, but then his smile faded, “Can we talk about earlier?”

“What could you mean, Saihara-chan? What happened earlier?”

“Don’t play dumb, please. Why were you afraid of me?”

“Afraid? Of Saihara-chan?” he laughed, “That’s a good one! I told you, it was a lie. I’m a liar after all.”

“I just feel uncomfortable with the thought that I scared you. I’m sorry.”

“Aww, does Saihara-chan care about me that much? I’m flattered!” 

Not thinking much, Shuichi said: “N-no, I just-”

Kokichi laughed, “You’re blushing!”

“I’m not!”

“Haha! Saihara-chan is so cute!” 

“I-I’m not!” 

“You’re right! I lied again!” 

Shuichi couldn’t stop his pounding heart, nor could he stop the warmth he was feeling. Kokichi was a mystery. And he’d do anything to solve it. 

As he entered the classroom, Ouma just next to him, everyone was looking at them. They took their seats, exchanging one more smile. 

“Hey, Shuichi” Kaede called him, “What’s up?” 

“Not much, I just thanked Kokichi for saving us.”

“Why did he have the key in the first place?”

“Ah, because… I dropped it.”

“Well, either way, we were lucky!” 

“Yeah…” 

“So, do you want to hang out after classes?”

“Sure, what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know, maybe drink some tea? Or eat something?”

“I don’t know the neighborhood very well,”

“I can show you around, then!”

And as she said, they were walking around, talking, laughing, having fun. She would point at various things and talk about them. 

“And here works my hairdresser! Actually, I recently changed my hairstyle, you know?”

“I see,” was all he said.

“What do you think about my hair?” she asked suddenly after a moment of silence.

“Ah, uh, I… don’t know? I think… Uh…”

“Does the color suit me?” 

“The color… uh… it’s… blonde, right?”

“Yeah! How does it look?”

“I…”

“You don’t like it, do you?”

“No, I… I don’t know…”

“What don’t you know?”

“I…”

“I’m asking because I… I still can’t see colors, you know?”

“And I’m not answering because I can’t see colors as well.”

“You can’t?” she seemed surprised, “Then how did you know it was blonde?”

“Uh, someone told me.”

“Oh…” and after a moment a bit too long she halted, “Shuichi?”

“Yeah?” 

“Can I touch you?”


	4. Chapter 4

“Can I touch you?” Kaede asked and Shuichi’s mind went blank. Kaede? Touch? Him? And then he understood and his cheeks started to burn from embarrassment. Akamatsu thought they were… 

“Uh… Yeah, sure…” he said, abashed. He didn’t know why he was reacting so strongly. Nor did he know what was he hoping for. Did he want to be Kaede’s soulmate? Or was he scared of it? 

Akamatsu took a deep breath, “Okay, it’s kinda scary…” and slowly, she grabbed his arm.

Shuichi closed his eyes, not sure what was he expecting to happen. He waited a moment, two, three. And nothing. He opened his eyes, but the world was as monochrome as before. And then, he looked at Kaede. 

She was looking down, fists clenched tightly. 

“Kaede? Are you okay?”

She shook her head. 

“Uh… Hey…”

“I really hoped it would be you, you know? That I finally found it. Every day I’m so ashamed, I don’t even know what I look like! I don’t know if I’m dressed properly, if my hair color suits me, hell, I don’t even know what color is my skin and eyes! And now, when I thought that I felt something it turns out we’re not destined to be!”

Shuichi was rendered speechless. He understood the girl, in a way. He wished to find a soulmate, too. And deep down, he hoped it would be Kaede. She was cheerful, optimistic, nice. But in the end, he didn’t feel that warmth he should be feeling when thinking about her. 

He wasn’t able to say anything. 

“I’ll walk you home,” she said after what felt like an eternity. 

She wouldn’t even look at him, they just walked in terribly awkward silence. Shuichi couldn’t recall a situation more awkward in his entire life. 

Finally, they reached their destination. Kaede didn’t respond to his ‘goodbye’. She just walked away, looking at her feet.

Once he stepped inside, his uncle greeted him from the couch.

“Hey, Shuichi! How was it with the blonde girl?” he was holding a bottle of wine, drinking directly from it. 

“Not so good, actually.” he sat down next to Hiroshi. The man handed him the bottle and he gladly accepted it. “We’re not soulmates. And she didn’t take it well. I don’t know what to do about it…”

“Well, do you care about her?”

“Yeah,”

“Do you want to be with her?”

“I’m… not so sure, actually…”

“Then be honest with her. The worst you can do is to fake-date her.”

“Yeah…” 

They sat in silence for a moment.

“I can’t believe I’m giving you dating tips,” Hiroshi laughed and Shuichi laughed along.

The following day, Shuichi wasn’t sure if he wanted to go to school. He would have to face Kaede. And that would be awkward. He didn’t know what should he tell her. Hiroshi said to be honest with her, but he wasn’t even sure what the truth was! 

He lazily got up and got ready, scared like a little child. As he entered the living room, he noticed Hiroshi lying on the floor, an empty bottle of wine in his hand, the contents spilled next to him. 

“Uncle?” he approached the man and poked him, trying to wake him up.

Hiroshi’s answer was gibberish.

“Uncle, I have to go to school,”

“Alright…” he rubbed his eyes and tried to get up but to no avail. “I’m in no state to drive, kid,” he said and sipped some wine, “You take the car.”

And Shuichi had no choice but to do that.

As he tried to park the car, he noticed Kokichi and Amami walking towards the school. Kokichi must’ve noticed him, as he started laughing and pointing at him, saying something to his friend. Shuichi hadn’t driven much in his life, so parking a car was a challenge and now, as those two were looking at him, he started to panic. He closed his eyes, embarrassed. 

A quiet knocking sound caught his attention. It was Kokichi, grinning. Reluctantly, he lowered the window.

“Hello, Saihara-chan! I couldn’t help but notice you have a small itsy bitsy problem with parking. Fortunately, I am the master of the steering wheel!”

“Ah, I-I… I’ll manage.”

“Suit yourself,” the boy shrugged.

Shichi tried a couple more times, but he couldn’t do it. 

“Hey, Kokichi?” he called out to the boy, who was still standing nearby, grinning. “C-Could you…?”

“Oh, poor Saihara-chan. I would love to help you, but I am forbidden from getting into the car since I caused a deadly accident. Amami-chan, on the other hand, is pretty close to being a genius driver like me, so he could do it. Am I right, Amami-chan?”

And Amami shrugged, “I could.”

So Shuichi got out of the car and let the boy park. It took less than a minute, as he managed to do it on the first try. 

“Thank you, Amami-kun.”

“Don’t mention it,” he waved his hand dismissively. 

“So! How come you have a driver’s license?” Kokichi laughed.

“That’s just plain rude,” 

“Ah, no, it’s okay,” Shuichi said, “I know I’m not the best driver in the world. In my defense, I’ll say that usually, I’m the passenger.” 

They headed towards the school, chatting meaninglessly. 

As they approached their classroom, Shuichi grew uneasy. Kaede was probably already there. What should he do? What should he say?

“What happened to Ka-yay-day?” Kokichi whispered to him as they entered the room. Akamatsu was sitting there, looking at her hands with a frown.

“Ah, uh… I… don’t know.”

“I’ll tell you this, Saihara-chan,” he shook his head, as if disappointed, “You’re a terrible liar.”

Shuichi didn’t answer, he just took his seat, Kokichi following him. Akamatsu didn’t even look at him as he approached.

“Hey, Kaede…” he accosted her, “Are you okay?” was all he could think of.

The girl laughed.

“I’m sorry,” he said, but couldn’t tell what was he even apologizing for. “Don’t be mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you, silly,” she whispered, “I’m just… exhausted. I really thought it would be you… That after all these years of living in a black and white world I’ll break free. And that you feel the same way. Tell me, Shuichi, what am I to you?” 

He didn’t know what to say. ‘Be honest’, Hiroshi told him. But what was the truth? What did Kaede mean to him? 

“You are… a friend.” and the girl snorted, “You’re so kind and cheerful and optimistic, I can’t think of anyone that I feel more comfortable around than you. That’s why I desperately don’t want to mess things up. What can I do to make it better?”

She looked him in the eyes, “Go out with me.”

As the first lesson ended, most of his classmates exited the room, Kokichi being one of them. He wanted to talk to the boy, to confide in him. So he went to the roof, believing he would find him there.

But there was no one else but Kaito Momota, smoking a cigarette. 

“Saihara! What’s up, dude?” 

“Hi, Momota-kun,” he sat down next to the boy. 

“You okay? You seem uneasy.”

“Yeah, well, can I talk to you about something?”

“Sure, go ahead!”

“Yesterday, I was with Kaede, we were walking around and stuff and then she asked if she could touch me and I agreed and it turned out we’re not soulmates and she seems depressed. She… uh… asked me to date her.”

“Holy fuck, dude. What are you thinking about? She’s hot, date her!”

“But I don’t think-”

“Exactly, you don’t think, so I’m thinking on your behalf.”

“I just-”

“You just have to stop overthinking everything! Just go with the flow! Hot chick wants to go out with you and you hesitate? Dude!”

Shuichi sighed, “Is it really a good idea?”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know… Maybe you’re right…”

“Of course I’m right! I’m the luminary of the stars, after all!”

“What does that even mean?” he laughed.

“Hope, of course!”

But even though, Shuichi wasn’t sure. Was dating Kaede the right thing to do? 

He didn’t know. He didn’t know at all. But Kaito had a point. Kaede was nice, cheerful, optimistic - a perfect girlfriend material. So where were these doubts coming from?

“Thanks, Momota-kun,” he said and got back to the classroom. 

Kaede was nervously playing with her hair, looking at the door. When he stepped in, she got tense and looked away. He approached her.

“Kaede?”

“Yeah?” 

“I… I want to go out with you.”

The girl looked at him, surprised. And then, she smiled.

“Holy guacamole, Saihara-chan asked Ka-yay-day out!” Kokichi shouted, “Get a room, you two!” 

Everyone was looking at them and Shuichi lowered his cap so that nobody sees his eyes. 

“Are you jealous, you little brat!?” Kaito, who was standing at the entrance, shouted back, approaching them.

Kokichi took a few steps forward, standing between Shuichi and Kaito while Kaede hid behind Saihara.

“And what are you, their lawyer!?”

“At least I’m not a little prick like you!” 

“Is that the best you can think of?” 

“Is that the best  _ you  _ can think of!?”

“Whoa, Momota-chan is being aggressive!”

“Hell yeah, I am! Stop harassing Saihara! Don’t you see he doesn’t want you around!?”

That actually wasn’t true, Shuichi thought as he anxiously watched them argue. He wasn’t sure which side he takes, so he just watched, with Kaede’s hands on his back. But even though, Kaito was wrong. He didn’t mind Kokichi’s attitude at all. It was in fact fun to be with the boy. And yet, he couldn’t say a word.

“How do you know he wants  _ you  _ around?”

“He came to me seeking advice!” 

“Right, Momota-chan is the best at giving advice he doesn’t follow himself,”

“And you are the best at ruining everything you touch!” 

“So what would happen if I touched  _ you _ ?”

“I would never, ever let a leech like you touch myself!” 

“Yeah, of course. After all, what would Harukawa-chan say if you let someone else touch you?”

“Don’t you dare say this name ever again!” 

“Harukawa-chan, Harukawa-chan, Harukawa-chan-”

“Just shut the fuck up or I’ll silence you myself!” 

“HARUKAWA-CHAN!” he started yelling louder and louder.

“I SAID, DON’T YOU EVER SAY THIS NAME AGAIN!”

And the next thing Shuichi comprehended was that he was lying on the floor with something on top of him. He opened his eyes and saw purple. Wait. He looked around, not believing his eyes. Everything was so colorful, so bright! Finally, he looked at Kokichi, who was lying on top of him, looking at him with eyes open so wide Shuichi thought they would fall out. Before he could say anything, the boy ran away. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Besides writing, I also play the piano and the guitar and I love singing, tho I'm not so good at it. But the point is, I have this yt channel and lately I wrote a song about Kokichi and I uploaded it just a moment ago and if any of you would like to check it out, here's the link!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnz5GoJfLv4  
> Thank you in advance!

“Yeah! Run, you little fuck!” Kaito yelled. 

“Shuichi? Are you okay?” Kaede, who was fast enough to avoid the fall, asked, reaching out towards him to help him get up.

But he was too overwhelmed to comprehend what she was saying. He was looking at the door, where Kokichi disappeared, his heart pounding. 

“Shuichi?” 

“Saihara?” only then Kaito noticed there was something wrong. “Maybe he hit his head?”

“About hitting… You took it too far, Momota-kun. You shouldn’t have hit Ouma-kun.”

“That brat deserved that. I don’t regret it at all.”

Kaede sighed, “Shuichi?”

But all he could think of was Kokichi. Kokichi, who was running away. 

Not thinking much, not bothering to explain anything to the others, he ran after the boy. 

The first place he went to was the rooftop, which turned out to be bull’s eye. At first, Shuichi didn’t even notice that anyone was there. But a shallow, sobbing breath coming from behind the chimney gave the boy away. Shuichi slowly approached him. 

He was crouching, making himself as small as can be, covering his ears with his hands. As Shuichi crouched next to him, he noticed how wide his eyes were open and how fast his breathing was. 

“Kokichi?”

The boy didn’t answer. 

“Hey, Kokichi…” he put his hands on the boy’s shoulders, “Look at me,” but the boy wouldn’t react. “Hey…”

And Shuichi did the only thing that came to his mind - embraced him. Slowly but surely his breathing got back to normal. 

“Are you okay?” 

Kokichi flinched and pushed Saihara away. 

“What are you doing?” the boy asked.

“What?” Shuichi was lost, “We’re-”

“Yes, I know what we are. But hey, you were about to date Ka-yay-day. So what, now you expect me to jump into your arms and forget about it? Is that what you want?”

Shuichi was silent for a moment too long, “Yes. I actually want that…”

“Well, shame on you, I won’t do it. I’m not some object you can claim yours.”

“I-”

“Naive Saihara-chan thinks that if it turns out we’re soulmates we have to be together. But no. That’s not how it works. Go date Ka-yay-day and never talk to me again.”

“Kokichi, I-”

“Go away!” 

“I didn’t mean to-”

“Didn’t you wash your ears or something!?” 

Shuichi couldn’t do anything but obey. 

He was afraid to go back to the classroom after he stormed out just like that. But he had to. On his way back, he was looking around, amazed. He often imagined how the colorful world might look like, but he wasn’t even close. And he could experience it all thanks to Kokichi, who hated him now. 

“Hey, dude! What happened?” Kaito asked as he walked into the classroom.

“Ah, uh… Nothing, nothing really.”

“Then where were you? Akamatsu was worried about you!” 

But he couldn’t focus. Too many impulses, too many colors at once. It almost blinded him. 

“Shuichi?” Kaede called out to him.

“Ah, I’m sorry, I…” 

“You what? Where were you?”

And somehow, he felt ashamed of his actions. Of the fact that he ran after Kokichi of all people. 

“I… had to go to the toilet…”

“I was so scared!” Kaede hugged him tightly, making him feel guilty. As if he was betraying Kokichi. And the non-existing trust the boy might’ve had in him before.

He looked at Kaito. The boy was smiling at him, showing him thumbs up. It was supposed to be perfect. Perfect girl hugging him, perfect friend next to him… But there was something missing. He couldn’t identify it. 

“This is perfect!” Kaito shouted, “I’m so happy for you two!” 

He noticed Amami looking at them with an unreadable expression. Then, as the boy noticed Shuichi’s gaze, he shook his head, as if disappointed, and looked away. 

He felt the same way.

The next day he was watching the classroom door, waiting for Kokichi to arrive. But he didn’t. Amami entered the classroom alone. Shuichi was considering asking him about the boy, but then Kaede and Kaito walked in and he gave up. 

“Good morning,” the girl said as she took her seat next to him. Momota just waved at him with a wide smile.

“Uh, hi!” Shuichi stuttered.

“So I was thinking, maybe we could go somewhere today?”

“Uh, sure… What do you have in mind?”

“Maybe a walk to the park?”

“Yeah, sure,” he felt awful. It all shouldn’t be happening. He should be happy with his soulmate, he should’ve stayed there, on the rooftop and talk to Kokichi instead of running away. He was stupid. And now he would pay for his stupidity. 

“Maybe lets’s invite Momota-kun, too?” he asked before the thought even came to his mind. 

Kaede’s smile faded a bit, but she quickly recovered, “Sure! The more the merrier!”

So when the classes ended, they walked up to the boy, who was about to exit the room. 

“Hey, Momota-kun!” Shuichi called out, “We’re going to take a walk, wanna join us?”

Kaito laughed, “Man, I’d love to! But I have other plans, sorry.” 

“What kind of plans?”

“I’m gonna visit Maki Roll,”

“Maki Roll?” 

“Yeah, my girlfriend! Actually, I can’t wait till you meet her! You should join me someday!”

He smiled, “Sure.”

Kaito patted his shoulder, “Good luck,” he winked and walked away. 

And so they stood there, while other students were passing by. 

“Shall we?” Kaede asked after an awfully long moment. 

“Uh, yeah…”

And so they went. Outside, the sun was hidden behind the clouds and it seemed like it was about to rain. As if the world adapted to his feelings… or maybe it was just rainy season, who knows.

“The weather is nice, isn’t it?” he said, “I mean, it’s not… uh… it’s windy and ugly, yeah… yeah…”

“...yeah…” Kaede murmured. 

They reached the park in silence. 

“It’s nice here, isn’t it?” the girl pointed at something he couldn’t see, “The trees and… uh, benches…”

“Y-yeah,”

“Do you want to sit down or-?”

“And you?”

“Ah, I don’t know… you?”

“Uh… yeah, sure, let’s sit down.”

“Okay, maybe there!” 

“Sure,”

But as soon as they sat down, it started to rain. 

“Ah!” Kaede made a weird squeaking noise, “Let’s hide somewhere! Hurry!” 

And they ran. When they found a shelter, they were already soaking wet. 

“I think,” Kaede said, looking somewhat sad, “I think that people dislike rain because they’re afraid of it. Afraid to drown in it, afraid to be swept by it. But you can’t drown, look!” she pirouetted her way outside, laughing, “It’s hard to breathe, but it’s safe!”

“Why are you doing this? You’ll get sick!”

“You want to know why?” she looked him in the eyes.

“Why?”

“Because I’m alive!” 

And Shuichi couldn’t say anything. He watched her dance in the rain to the music only she heard. 

All this time, he searched for a reason to dislike her, to be able to cut her off. Because he felt like he needed to be with Kokichi since they were soulmates. But in the end, there was not a single thing in Kaede he could be mad at. 

The next day, there was still no sign of Kokichi. 

“Hi!” Kaede shouted cheerfully, “What about a walk today, too?”

“Yeah, sure!”

The classes felt like an eternity. Shuichi watched the empty seat next to him in thought. He didn’t know what to do. At all. He respected Kaede and liked her, but he didn’t feel anything more than that. Kokichi, on the other hand, felt like a roller coaster. He was crazy, funny, brave… and Shuichi missed him. 

‘Give me the opportunity and I’ll make it right,’ he wished. 

Soon, it started to rain. 

“Ah, I don’t have an umbrella…” Shuichi said as they were about to exit the school building. He was so focused on his internal struggle he forgot about the rainy season. 

“It’s okay, we can share mine,” Kaede smiled, “But the walk is probably a bad idea. Maybe let’s go to the bookstore? I wanted to buy some piano sheet music!”

“Yeah, sure,”

And so they did.

“Maybe people dislike rain because they believe it’s sad. And people tend to believe good things are always happy.”

Not a thing he could be mad at. Not a thing to dislike. 

They split up in the bookstore. Kaede searched for the sheet music and he was walking around, reading the books’ titles. 

The familiar laugh made his heart pound. 

There he was, holding a comic book in his hands. No one else but Kokichi Ouma, his soulmate. 

“Hi,” Shuichi waved his hand, even though the boy couldn’t see it. 

He flinched and froze, not even bothering to turn around to face Shuichi. Or maybe not being able to do so.

“Kokichi, please, talk to me.”

“What is there to talk about?”

“Us.”

“Oh, naive Saihara-chan, there’s no us. Tell me, do you love me?”

“I-” 

“No. Of course you don’t. The same goes for me. See, you believe that if we’re soulmates we have to be together, but that’s not true. We have a choice. You don’t have to feel obligated to be with me, you’re free.”

“I-”

“Shuichi! There you are!” Kaede ran up to them. “Oh, Ouma, hi…”

Kokichi was silent for a moment. 

“You followed my advice, good,” he said and then walked away.

“Uh… bye?” Akamatsu looked confused for a moment. Then, she looked at Shuichi with an expression as serious as can be. 

“Shuichi, can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, sure…”

“Does my hair color suit me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter, it means a lot <3   
> And for those who chose to check out my yt channel, thank you so much <3   
> Even if only one person listens to my music or reads my fanfiction - it's worth it <3   
> Love you guys ^^  
> Next chapter coming soon!


	6. Chapter 6

“What?” Shuichi asked, dumbfounded. 

Kaede pointed at her head, “My hair color. Does it suit me?”

He didn’t know what to do. The girl was more of a detective than he was.

He smiled, “Yeah. Yeah, it does.”

“That’s so… wrong.” there were so many different emotions on her face he couldn’t identify even one of them. “Why Ouma of all people? You deserve so much better…”

“I-”

“Anyway, you’re here with me. We can’t let him ruin our day, am I right? So, do you want to come over and listen to me playing?” 

“Uh, I-”

“No, it wasn’t a question, come on!” 

He couldn’t say anything. She wouldn’t let him. She wouldn’t listen to him. Exactly like Kaito, who forced him to date her.

Forced? No. Shuichi did it himself. It was his lips that said those words. His legs that followed the girl. 

It was his own doing. And he had to make it right himself.

On their way to Kaede’s place he thought about what should he do, how should he say what he wanted to say. How to convey his feelings into words. 

When they reached their destination, Shuichi was still clueless. Confused. Lost. But the time has come, he had to make everything right.

But what was right? Chasing Kokichi, who didn’t want to know him? Or being with Kaede, who was the perfect girlfriend material? He didn’t know. It was too much for him. He wanted to abort the mission, go home, be free of all of this for just a moment. But he couldn’t.

There was no one inside. Kaede, somewhat excited ran up to the piano.

“I can’t wait to check those pieces out!” she exclaimed and started playing. Shuichi sat down nearby and listened, feeling uneasy. He needed to do something. But he didn’t know what.

After a while, Kaede suddenly stopped playing in the middle of the song.

“Is something wrong?” Saihara asked.

“I want to show you something. Follow me.”

They walked into a room Shuichi knew was Kaede’s. There were photographs on the wall and Shuichi looked at them, curious. 

One of them showed Kaede with a girl looking exactly the same as her. Her sister, he thought. On another one there was Kaede with a girl that had dark, long hair. 

Akamatsu pointed at the photo, “It’s Harukawa-chan,” she said.

“That’s- Kokichi said this name when he was arguing with Momota-kun…”

“Yeah, it’s Momota-kun’s girlfriend.”

“What happened to her?” 

“Ask your soulmate,” she shrugged. 

He looked at her for a moment but she showed no intention of saying anything more. He got back to watching photos.

Most of them showed Kaede or Kaede with someone. But there was one that caught his attention. There were three people on some kind of boat. Harukawa was on the left, the closest to the camera. And in the background, there was Kaito and Kokichi, laughing.

“I thought Momota-kun hated Kokichi,” he said and turned to face Kaede.

“Yeah, he does. But in the past, they were close friends. Until Ouma- no, I shouldn’t be talking about it. Come here.” she sat down on her bed. He obeyed. 

And the next thing he knew was a hand on his thigh and in his hair. His heart sped up. But, to his surprise, it wasn’t the aroused type of heartbeat. He didn’t find it hot at all. He was just scared. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Kaede-” and there were lips on his own. He mustered all of his strength to push the girl away. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I have to go.”

And he ran away. 

The next day, he stood near the school entrance, waiting for Amami to arrive. He made up his mind. He wanted to make everything right between him and Kokichi. And Amami was his only chance to do so. 

Soon, he noticed the green-haired boy walking towards the school, talking to someone on the phone.

“- careful, you know how-”

“Hi, Amami-kun!” he said a little bit too loudly.

The boy looked at him and said, “I met Saihara, wait a moment.” 

“I- I need to talk to Kokichi.”

“Why?”

“I want to make everything right. I  _ need  _ to make everything right.”

“Why?”

“Because I feel so. Because I feel that I want to. I-” 

Amami didn’t let him finish, he just handed him his phone. 

“Don’t mess it up,” he said and walked away.

Shuichi, abashed, put the phone to his ear.

“-mami-chan? You there?” 

“Kokichi? It’s me.”

The boy hung up. But Shuichi wasn’t going to give up so easily. He dialed ‘the Supreme Leader’ again. And again. And finally, the boy answered the call.

“Geez, Saihara-chan, you must be desperate-”

“I am!” he shouted without thinking, “I need to see you. You don’t have to like me, you don’t have to feel anything for me. But I want to be able to see you. To talk to you. You are… the roller coaster. I never know what you are thinking about, or what your intentions are. I don’t know anything about you. You’re a mystery. A mystery I need to solve. As a detective. And your soulmate. So please, let me get to know you!” 

Kokichi was silent for a moment. And then, he laughed.

“That was so cheesy! I didn’t know Saihara-chan was so romantic!”

“You don’t know many things about me. But I want to share them with you. So-”

“God, Saihara-chan must really care about me if he’s able to say such words.” Shuichi didn’t have to see the boy to know he was grinning. 

“I-”

“No! No more cheesiness!” he laughed, then whispered: “I can’t take it…”

“Will you come to school today?”

The boy sighed, “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” 

“Thank you,” he said, but the boy already hung up. 

Shuichi was waiting anxiously through the first class. Kaede didn’t show up and he felt Kaito’s gaze on himself. He hunched over pulling his cap over his eyes. And then, the door opened and Kokichi stepped in. 

His cheek was all swollen and red and as he was grinning it looked even bigger. But there he was. So close Shuichi could reach out and touch him. 

“Missed me much?” he asked.

“A bit,” Shuichi whispered with a smile.

During the break, the two went to the rooftop. Sitting down at the edge, Shuichi grew uneasy. He had no idea what to say.

“So, I’m the roller coaster, huh?” Kokichi smiled widely and flinched, his cheek must’ve really hurt.

“Ah, uh…” instinctively, his hand reached out towards his cap, but Kokichi fetched it before he could even touch it.

“What’s up with this emo hat? You look a lot better without it!”

“You’re messing with me,”

“You got me! Even without this stupid thing, you look terrible.” 

“I do?”

“Nah, I lied!”

“You did?”

“Maybe I lied that I lied? Or maybe I lied that I lied that I lied!” 

Shuichi just laughed, “Hey, tell something true about yourself.”

“Something true, you say. But I’m constantly doing so.”

“You are?”

“You’re the detective, you should know best.”

“I-” 

“Tell me, what was true among the things I said?”

“I don’t know, I honestly don’t know.”

“So let’s play a game! You ask a question and I give you an answer. You have to guess if it’s truth or lie.”

Shuichi had a lot of questions to ask. But as droplets of water started falling from the sky, he asked: “Do you like rain?”

Kokichi laughed, “Seriously? You can ask me anything and you choose this?”

“Ah, it was stupid, I-”

“I do. Do you?”

“I… I think that people dislike rain because they’re afraid to drown. But you can’t drown in it. It’s hard to breathe, but it’s safe.”

“What is this metaphor for?” 

“Being alive, I think.”

“Fair enough.” and after a moment, he added: “I didn’t know Saihara-chan was so poetic.”

“Me neither, actually.” 

“So, was it Ka-yay-day who said that?” 

“W-what?”

“What ‘w-what’? I asked if it was-”

“Yes, I know that. It’s just… how did you know?”

“You had it written on your face. Plus, it sounded like something she might’ve said. She loves cheesy metaphors.” 

“Are you two close?”

“Huh? Oh, no. No.” 

“What about Momota-kun?”

“That’s how close we are!” he laughed, pointing at his cheek.

“Kaede told me that you two were friends.”

“Were you gossiping about me? I’m both flattered and creeped out!” 

“I’m being serious. What happened between you two?”

“I killed his girlfriend, duh!” 

“H-huh!?”

“Nah, I lied, of course. I just caused her to fall into a coma!”

“Are you serious?”

“Of course not! I’m a liar after all!”

“Then what’s the truth?”

“Who knows?”

“You do,”

“Well, the truth is, that there’s no truth at all…”

When they got back to the classroom, they were both soaking wet and everyone was looking at them. He wanted to reach out towards his cap, and only then he realized that Kokichi still had it. 

The boy put it on and Shuichi smiled at the sight. Somehow, everything felt lighter now. Better.

He looked at Kaede’s seat and gasped, surprised. Kaito was sitting there, smiling widely. 

“Hey, Saihara, how was it with Akamatsu?”

“Ah, it’s… complicated…”

“Huh? Something went wrong?”

“Kinda…”

“What happened?”

“I just… figured something out.”

“But what?”

It was so awkward he was blushing and his heart was pounding. He didn’t know what to say. For some reason, saying that Kokichi was his soulmate was not an option. Especially since Kaito hated the boy.

And then Kokichi interjected, “Why, I’m Saihara-chan’s soulmate!” and Shuichi closed his eyes in embarrassment. 

He wasn’t ready to tell everyone. Especially since they weren’t a couple or anything. 

“Yeah, right. You wish, you little faggot!” Kaito shouted back. A few of his classmates laughed.

“No, really!” But the more he tried to persuade them the more they laughed at him. And soon, the class started.

Shuichi looked at Kokichi. He was looking right back at him with a smile. He winked at Shuichi and looked away.

He had it all planned. 


	7. Chapter 7

“And then, and then I said ‘kneel before me, peasant! Swear your loyalty to me!’ and he obeyed! And he’s been my right-hand man ever since!” 

Shuichi and Kokichi were sitting on the rooftop, eating. Kokichi was telling him stories, claiming them to be true. This one was about meeting Amami.

“But wait, you said you’re the supreme leader of all scouts! Is Amami-kun a scout? Could he be the previous supreme leader?”

“No no no! Amami-chan is actually the son of the previous supreme leader!”

“So you killed his father,”

“Exactly!”

“And he’s your best friend and right-hand man? Aren’t you afraid of uprising?”

“Amami-chan and uprising? That’s a good one! Amami-chan is the kindest and the most patient person in the world!”

“Maybe he’s tricking you,” 

“Silly Saihara-chan. I cannot be tricked! That’s my special power!”

“I see, I see.”

“What’s yours?”

“Ah, I don’t have one…”

“But you must!”

Shuichi thought for a moment, “I guess I have a good memory…”

“That’s the spirit! What else are you proud of?”

“Uh, I’m not-”

“Why, you should be!”

They fell into a comfortable silence. Hanging out with Kokichi was… weird. The boy lied all the time and was rarely serious. But somehow, Shuichi had a lot of fun. Trying to distinguish lies from truth… it made him feel like a real detective.

“So, what is your real Ultimate Talent?” he asked and Kokichi grinned.

“Why, I’m the Ultimate Supreme Leader!” 

“I find it hard to believe,”

“I’m being serious! I have this giant evil organization that has over 10 000 members!”

“I’ve never heard about this kind of organization,”

“Because it’s a secret organization, obviously!”

“So what is it that you do?”

“We rule the world from the shadows! Politicians, judges, businessmen - they’re all part of my organization.”

“So theoretically speaking, you could change the world however you’d want it?”

“It’s not so easy, Saihara-chan! In my organization, the majority decides. I can’t change the world whenever I want to. Sometimes I get the feeling I can’t change it at all.” 

Somehow, this thoughtfulness, this sadness… it made the story seem so real Shuichi almost believed it. 

“Nobody can change the world on their own, Kokichi.”

The boy looked at him and smiled, “So what does Saihara-chan do in his free time?”

“Ah, I… I don’t really do much. I usually read a book or help my uncle from time to time.” 

“Booooring~”

Shuichi didn’t feel insulted. He knew perfectly well that he wasn’t an interesting person. He lacked charisma, confidence, and bravery. But even though, his smile felt a bit forced. 

Then, as he was thinking of something cool to say, the door to the rooftop opened and Kirumi Tojo - the class representative - walked in. 

“Ouma-kun,” she said with a frown, “I am here to remind you of the fact that I asked you not to come to the rooftop given your safety and safety of people around you.”

“I’m just sitting here, not doing any harm!” the boy shouted, raising his hands as if he was being aimed at. 

“Don’t make me repeat myself. I can have Momota-kun taking you from here by force again.”

“That’s just blackmail!” 

“Kokichi, let’s just go. There are lots of different places where we can eat.” Shuichi interjected as he noticed that they were just arguing for a mere fact of arguing. 

The boy reluctantly stood up and led the way out. Shuichi noticed some kind of tenseness in his movement. For a moment shorter than breath, as they were passing by Kirumi, Kokichi looked almost vulnerable. 

Kaede was sitting right next to him. Not looking at him, not opening her mouth, and yet speaking right to his heart. She seemed sad. And it was his fault. 

“Kaede? Can we talk?” he asked, but the girl pretended she didn’t hear him. 

He felt awful. He didn’t want to hurt the girl. He liked her a lot. But in the end, he couldn’t give her what she wanted. They were destined to be apart. But he refused.

“Kaede? Can you at least look at me?”

“No,” she whispered, “I can’t…”

“Please, let’s talk.”

She nodded softly. 

And so once the class ended, they exited the classroom and went outside the school. The weather was nice, the sun was shining brightly, blinding them. There was no sign of the rainy season. It was warm, but not too warm. A soft breeze brushed his face and for a moment he forgot why was he even here. 

“So?” 

“Ah, yeah, well…” he didn’t know what to say, “I’m sorry…” 

“I changed my mind, I don’t want to listen to it.”

“Huh?”

She was silent for a moment, and then she blurted out: “Ouma is a petty thief.”

“W-what?” he heard her perfectly well. But somehow, he couldn’t comprehend her words.

“He’s a cleptomaniac. He steals and collects things.”

Shuichi was confused. Why was Kaede telling him this?

“He did a lot of horrible things in the past. He’s-”

“He’s my soulmate. If you think I will abandon him just because he’s done some mistakes…”

“ _ Mistakes _ ? They are not simply mistakes! He’s a danger to everyone he’s around!” 

“He seems harmless to me,”

“Yeah, he does. But behind this cheerful facade, there’s a devil, trust me.”

“Why would I?”

Kaede tilted her head, “Have I ever lied to you?”

“I believe not,”

“Then look at your soulmate.”

And Shuichi looked. Kokichi was a definition of a lie. There was not a single honest thing about him. And it was fun to be with the boy, but would he be a good friend material? Or even boyfriend material if they’d ever end up together?

Probably not. He was the type of person you go out with from time to time but don’t trust. A classmate, but not a friend. So why was he defending him so obstinately?

Because they were soulmates? Because he felt like liking the boy was his duty? 

“You’re free,” Kokichi said in the bookstore, but Shuichi didn’t feel free. Or maybe didn’t want to be free. He sought commitment and Kokichi was running away from it. 

But even though, what was Shuichi supposed to do? Let the boy go? Chase him? He didn’t know, he didn’t know at all. 

If he was just a little bit stronger, a little bit braver… 

“Saihara-chan?” he heard Kokichi and only then noticed that the class ended.

“Yeah?” he got up and started packing up his stuff. It was their last class for today.

“You overheated from all this thinking!” he laughed, “What did Ka-yay-day say that caused it?”

“Ah, nothing-”

“You know you can’t fool me, Saihara-chan. What did she say about me?”

“Uh, it’s… really nothing…”

“Come on, you look almost scared of me! That’s actually kinda funny since Saihara-chan is bigger and stronger than me!”

Shuichi didn’t feel bigger nor stronger. He felt lost.

“She told me you’re a devil.”

And Kokichi laughed, “Oh god, you can’t be serious!”

Shuichi smiled. His hand almost instinctively reached out and patted Kokichi’s head. 

The boy froze. He looked like it was the most surprising thing that’s ever happened. Shuichi couldn’t help but giggle. 

“Why are you afraid of touch?”

“You have to be lvl 4 friend to unlock my tragic backstory!”

“Am I not?”

Kokichi’s smile grew bigger, “You’re lvl 3,5!” 

And he started walking away. Shuichi followed. They were walking down the corridor to the school entrance when suddenly, Kokichi stopped.

“Saihara-chan!” he shouted, a cheerful gleam in his eyes.

“Yeah?”

“We’re going to the sea tomorrow!”

“W-what?”

He pointed at the wall. There was a poster advertising the oncoming festival. 

“We’re going!” 

Shuichi smiled. Adventure awaited. 

Once he stepped home, he noticed that Hiroshi was in a far worse state than usual. He was laying on the floor, unconscious, empty bottles all around the room. Shuichi ran up to him and tried to wake him up, but to no avail. The man blurted out some gibberish but showed no intention of getting up. 

For the first time, Shuichi noticed how dangerous Hiroshi’s addiction was. And it scared him. It scared him so much to lose someone again. 

He stayed with him until he awoke around midnight. 

“What’s up, kid?” he murmured.

“I don’t know. Kaede told me that Kokichi’s a devil. Nobody really likes him for some reason, but no one wants to tell me why.”

“Ask Kokichi,”

“There’s no way he’ll tell me. He’s never serious.”

“I’m in no state to give you advice, but maybe… make him serious?”

“That’s… impossible.”

But Hiroshi was already asleep. Shuichi sighed and went to his room to sleep as well. 

The next morning, when he woke up, Hiroshi was still sleeping, exactly where he left him. Shuichi walked up to him and woke him up. 

The man groaned, “What do you want, kid?”

“Are you okay? I need you to take me and Kokichi to the sea today.”

“Ah, my head is killing me, I don’t know what you’re saying…”

“Are you able to drive?”

“Drive? No way!”

Shuichi sighed and went to the kitchen to eat breakfast. As he was eating, Hiroshi swang his way in.

“I’m dying…” he murmured and drunk some water.

“I need to go to the sea today, can you drive?”

“All the way to the sea? No fucking way.”

“So what do I do? I promised to take Kokichi to the festival…”

“You take the car,”

Shuichi didn’t want to. He was terrible at driving and the sea was quite far away. But what choice did he have? 

He watched Hiroshi in almost terror. The man was at the lowest point you can get and still getting lower. He wanted to help him before he kills himself, but didn’t know what to do. 

“Why did you do it?”

“Did what?”

“Get wasted,”

“Ah, well… yesterday was your mother’s birthday.”


	8. Chapter 8

For some reason, the place Kokichi asked Shuichi to pick him up from was labeled “Amami residence”. The boy was already waiting for him, humming a melody only he knew. As the sun shone brightly on him, he closed his eyes with a smile, and Shuichi could describe it with only one word - beautiful. 

Somehow speechless, he just looked at him, not saying a word. The boy got inside the car.

“Ready for an adventure?” he was beaming with cheer.

Shuichi scratched his neck, “Can you drive?”

Kokichi’s smile faded for a moment, “Well, I’d love to. But the truth is, I don’t have a driver’s license.”

“You… don’t have…”

“A driver’s license. Yeah.”

“You said you were-”

“I lied, obviously!”

Shuichi felt a pang of disappointment. If they both couldn’t drive, they were doomed. 

“What are we waiting for? Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” Kokichi hurried him. 

“I don’t feel confident about my driving skills… Are you sure you weren’t lying about this driver’s license?”

“Just drive! It’s easy!”

“But-”

“Just drive, Saihara-chan,”

And he did. At first, he was super nervous, he wouldn’t reply to Kokichi’s jokes and provocations. But then, the boy turned the radio on and started singing. Shuichi didn’t even notice when he started to sing along.

Suddenly, in the middle of the song, Kokichi stopped singing. He was focused on something on his right, something Shuichi couldn’t see. 

“What is it?” he asked.

“The world is so colorful. I mean, I never thought I’d get to see it…”

“Why?”

And he laughed, “Don’t play dumb, Saihara-chan. I’m aware of what kind of person I am.”

Shuichi couldn’t comprehend how they got from being happy and singing to such a serious conversation. He didn’t know what to do, so he stayed silent.

Kokichi laughed again, “There are so many colors I can’t pick one I like the most! What is your favorite, Saihara-chan?”

Shuichi looked at him and whispered: “Purple.”

Kokichi’s fake smile cracked, “Is that so…”

Finally, they safely reached their destination. Kokichi led the way through the crowd. There were so many people Shuichi was afraid they might lose sight of each other. 

“Hurry up, Saihara-chan!” Kokichi shouted, but Shuichi couldn’t match his pace. 

“Wait!” he shouted back and grabbed him by his sleeve. They walked around like that, almost touching but not quite yet. 

It was fun. Going from one stand to another, joking around. Once, Shuichi wanted to buy something to drink, but Kokichi paid saying “save this money for driving lessons”. It was a perfect day, and it felt so surreal. He almost couldn’t believe it was happening. 

“Look! You can fish there!” Kokichi exclaimed, excited. But after a few steps he halted. 

“What’s wrong?” but he was focused on something else. Shuichi followed his gaze. 

The first thing he noticed was the blonde hair of Kaede. Then, Kaito’s purple jacket. His heart sped up.

He dragged Kokichi by his sleeve all the way behind one of the stands. They hid there for a few minutes. 

“Do you think they’re gone?” Shuichi asked. Kokichi didn’t answer and he looked at the boy. 

Ouma was smiling, rocking back and forth on his heels. 

“Kokichi?”

“Hey, Saihara-chan… Maybe let’s abort this mission? It’s boring anyway.”

“What? Why? I thought you were having fun…”

“Yeah, well, let me give you a life lesson. Nobody has fun when their companion is ashamed of hanging out with them.”

“W-wha-? I’m not-”

“Then why are we hiding?”

Shuichi didn’t know. It was an instinct, reflex… He didn’t mean to hurt Kokichi, he didn’t mean to hurt anyone. And yet, he couldn’t explain.

“It’s okay, though. I totally get it. So that’s why I’m saying we should just go back home.” 

Shuichi couldn’t say anything. So he acted instead.

He grabbed Kokichi, this time not by his sleeve, but by his hand and dragged him back to the crowd. He looked around, but Kaito and Kaede were gone. 

“What are you doing?” Kokichi asked.

“Showing you I’m not ashamed.”

And then he spotted Kaito in a distance. He let go of Kokichi to wave at the boy. 

“Saihara! What’s up, dude?” Momota approached them, Kaede just behind him.

“Ah, well, I’m-”

“What are you doing here alone? Join us!” 

“Yeah, the more the merrier!” Kaede added.

“Ah, I’m not-” but when he looked at where Kokichi should be, there was no one.

He followed Kaito and Kaede, though his thoughts stayed with Kokichi. Where did he go? Why? Would he come back?

“Dude, this is a festival. Smile, goddamnit!” Kaito scolded him and he smiled awkwardly. 

“So, I was telling Momota-kun why we didn’t talk lately…” Kaede looked at him with a serious face.

“You.. were?” Shuichi started to panic. The thought that she might tell someone didn’t even cross his mind.

“Yeah, because of Ouma-kun, right? He told you some nasty things about me…”

“Uh…” he was confused. So confused… “Yeah…”

“I knew he had something to do with it! But hey, we can’t let him ruin our fun! Let’s go to the shrine!”

It was full of people, but somehow they managed to get inside. They one by one threw a coin into the offering box, bowed deeply twice, clapped their hands twice, bowed deeply once more, and prayed. Then, they went to purchase an ema to write a wish. 

“What are you gonna wish for, Shuichi?” Kaede asked on their way there.

“He can’t tell you!” Kaito exclaimed, “His wish wouldn’t come true!” he laughed.

They approached the stand where emas should be sold. 

“This year is the 200th anniversary of the tragedy of our sailors, so we don’t write our wishes on emas. Write it on a piece of paper, put it in a bottle and throw it into the sea. It will grant your wish.” they were told there.

So they bought what they needed and exited the shrine. 

“Hey, there are fortune cookies! Let’s get some!” Kaito shouted and led the way there. 

Surprisingly, they didn’t have to wait, nobody was there besides one old man who was drinking sake. 

“The sea is a powerful thing….” he murmured as they approached, “200 years ago those people were taken away by it but they remained in our hearts. Do you have someone that would remember you once you go?”

Shuichi didn’t know. Who would be sad if he died? His uncle? Kaede and Kaito? Maybe Kokichi? Kokichi… he was still missing…

“Do you?” Kaito asked,

The man laughed, “Sit down, child, we’ll drink and I’ll tell you a story.”

And Kaito did just that. Meanwhile, Shuichi and Kaede bought fortune cookies. 

“I saw Ouma-kun with you earlier,” she whispered.

“Oh…”

“You should go search for him.”

“W-what? I thought-”

“Remember what I said? He’s a danger to everyone who’s near him. But only recently I noticed that he’s a danger to himself as well. He… he’s done some bad things, but… I would hate myself if he did something to himself.”

Shuichi opened his fortune cookie. ‘After the rain, there’s always rainbow’ it said.

“Thank you, Kaede!” 

The girl smiled, “Go get him!”

He ran.

He bumped into dozen of people, he asked dozen of people, he checked the same places over and over again before he went to the shore. There he was, Kokichi Ouma, sitting on the sand, looking at the sky. 

It was almost dusk and the sky was beautifully red. Shuichi stood there for a moment, looking at his soulmate lit by the rays of the setting sun. It was almost as if he was enchanted, cursed. He couldn’t look away, couldn’t move. There was only Kokichi, all in red. 

Then, he heard a soft melody. Almost as if the wind sang. But no. It was Kokichi, humming the same melody he was humming earlier. 

Shuichi, as if in a daze, approached him.

“Where were you?” he asked. The boy didn’t answer for a while and Shuichi wasn’t sure if he even heard him. 

“Did you have fun?” 

“What? Why?”

“It’s so selfish, _ I’m _ so selfish…” Kokichi wouldn’t even look at him, his gaze was focused on the sky as he spoke. “I thought you would be happier with them, but… The truth is, I didn’t want you to be.”

Shuichi didn’t know what to say. He said nothing.

Kokichi laughed, “Let’s start with a wish, shall we?”

“A wish? Isn’t that a bit arrogant?”

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting,” the boy shrugged.

He seemed deep in thought for a moment, and then he wrote something on the piece of paper he was holding in his hand.

“What are you wishing for?” Shuichi asked.

“I can’t tell you,” he smiled. “Now’s your turn,” he passed him a pen.

‘I wish for hope,’ Saihara wanted to write, but then he thought ‘I wish for strength,’ but it didn’t seem right. He settled for ‘happiness’.

They put their wishes in bottles and threw them into the sea.

“I wonder,” Kokichi looked serious, “do we want the same thing?”

“What is it that you want?”

The boy opened his mouth and closed them a few times, just like a fish taken out of water. 

“I wonder…” he whispered at last.

The sun disappeared behind the horizon and the sky turned beautifully purple. That was without a doubt Shuichi’s favorite color. 

“There’s some kind of beauty in a doubt,” he said so quietly he wasn’t sure if he wanted Kokichi to hear him. “Like I never know what you are thinking.” he was speaking louder and louder, more and more certain as he spoke. “The mystery, the fog that’s around you. It’s beautiful.”

Somehow, Kokichi said that he was sad, not uttering any words at all. As they sat there, everything - tomorrow, present, past... seemed a thousand miles away. 

“What’s wrong?” Shuichi asked.

“If I went back in time, would these regrets follow me?” 

“We all do bad things, Kokichi. That doesn’t mean we’re bad people.”

Kokichi nodded.

“Ah, it’s raining…” he whispered. But there was not a single cloud up above. Instead, the fireworks lit the sky. 

Shuichi looked at the boy. He was looking straight back at him, tears falling relentlessly from his eyes. 

“Are you-?”

“It’s raining.”

“Yeah.”

Shuichi reached out and wiped Kokichi’s tears away. The boy grabbed his hand, closing his eyes as if he was sleepy. 

“Kokichi?”

“It’s safe, right? Hard to breathe, but safe.”

“Yeah.”

Shuichi inched closer. Inch by inch, he leaned towards his soulmate. 

“What are you doing?” Kokichi asked.

“I have no idea,” and their lips touched.

It was awkward at first, but then, Kokichi kissed back. It was gentle, soft, tender. Uncertain. They both didn’t know what were they doing. They both didn’t know if they wanted it. But it felt right. Just right. 

“What the fuck is going on here!?”


	9. Chapter 9

“What the fuck is going on here!?” Shuichi heard Kaito’s voice and his heart started to beat so fast he thought he was having a heart attack. 

“Momota-kun, stop it, you’re drunk-” Kaede shouted running after him.

“What. The. Fuck. Is. Going. On!?”

Shuichi felt Kokichi flinch next to him.

“What were you doing with Saihara, you little prick!?” 

“What do you think, Momota-chan?” the boy took a few steps forward so that he was standing between Shuichi and Kaito. Shuichi vividly remembered a scene like that. 

“You can’t understand when I’m nice, so maybe I should teach you a lesson!”

“What kind of lesson? ‘You can’t be happy if I’m not’? What kind of screwed logic is that?”

“Don’t you talk back to me, you scum!”

“Or what? You’re gonna punch me again?”

“Ouma-kun, don’t-” Kaede tried to interfere but nobody listened to her. Shuichi was watching the scene wide-eyed, not really comprehending what was happening. 

“Hell yeah, I will! A million punches wouldn’t be enough after what you’ve done!”

Shuichi couldn’t see Kokichi’s expression, but he imagined it was a wide grin as he said: “Go ahead,” spreading his arms.

And in the next moment, just like the last time, Shuichi found himself on the ground with Kokichi on top of him. 

“Huh?” 

But this time, there was no punch. Shuichi sent them to the ground just in time for Kaito to hit the air. 

Fireworks were still lightening up the sky, giving this moment an almost gruesome aftertaste. As if the world was mocking them. 

“Momota-kun!” Kaede shouted.

“Shut up, Akamatsu!”

“You’ve taken it way too far! Ouma-kun might’ve acted… incorrectly a few times, that doesn’t give you permission to  _ assault  _ him!”

“What do you want me to do? Forgive him?” he spat the word ‘forgive’ as if it was the biggest insult. 

“There’s some kind of calmness in forgiving. It’s worth a try.” she looked at Kokichi, “I’m talking to you, too. Maybe it’s time to forgive yourself?”

“No fucking way! I can’t forgive him until he pays for what he’s done!” Kaito yelled, his fists clenched tightly, ready for a fight. But Kokichi didn’t move, didn’t even flinch. 

“Kokichi?” Shuichi couldn’t see his expression, so he tightened his grip on the boy, as if reassuringly. 

“Momota-kun, let’s just calm down!” Kaede exclaimed, putting her hand on his shoulder, 

“Tell that Maki Roll, that you’ve forgiven him! I’m sure she’d love to hear it!” 

“Momota-kun… you’re a great guy with great power, but you’ve taken the wrong path.”

Shuichi had no idea why was Kaede protecting them. But he appreciated it nonetheless. Maybe, just maybe, they could be friends again?

“I’m so done with all of this. I hate you all.” Kaito said and walked away. 

“Hey, Momota-kun! Wait!” Kaede shouted, but he didn’t listen. She sighed. “Are you okay?” she asked, helping them stand up. 

“Yeah, thanks,” Shuichi said, smiling awkwardly. 

“Just to be clear, I don’t support  _ this _ ,” she waved her hands around, “But I don’t support Momota-kun’s aggression as well.”

“Can you finally tell me what happened to Harukawa?” 

She was silent for a moment. “Ouma-kun, are you okay with it?” 

Shuichi looked at his soulmate. He seemed deep in thought as he smiled his fake smile with glazed off eyes. He shrugged, “Yeah, sure, whatever…”

He looked at his shoes, with a somewhat bitter expression. Kaede started talking: “It’s a simple story. We were drunk and-”

“-Harukawa-chan crashed the car,” Kokichi interjected, somewhat in panic. “The four of us - me, Momota-kun, Ka-yay-day, and Harukawa-chan - were at the lake. Harukawa-chan was the only one who didn’t drink so she was driving. We were going back home, when-”

Shuchi saw in the corner of his eye Kaede shaking her head softly, but it was a movement so gentle he must’ve imagined it. 

“-we skid and hit the tree. We all had minor injuries, but Harukawa-chan still hasn’t woken up. We think it might never happen and Momota-chan didn’t take it well.”

They all were silent for a moment. 

“I should go find him. He’s drunk and angry, it’s not the best combination.” Kaede broke the silence and walked away. 

“Hey, it’s not your fault…” Shuichi put his hand on Kokichi’s head, trying to console the boy, who looked as if he was about to faint. 

“...yeah…” he whispered, then smiled brightly, “I can’t believe Saihara-chan kissed me! And in public! Naughty, naughty~!”

Shuichi reached out to cover his eyes with his cup, but then remembered that Kokichi still had it. He looked at his shoes, all red and ashamed. 

“I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… You probably hated it and-”

And then, there were arms around him as Kokichi  _ hugged  _ him. Actually hugged him. He felt his blush growing stronger as he hugged back.

“Yeah, I hated it. It was the worst, the sloppiest and the grossest kiss ever!” 

Shuichi smiled. Fireworks ended and the sky was once again all purple as if the world was telling him he was doing the right thing. 

On Monday, Shuichi waited for Kokichi at the school entrance. He couldn’t wait to meet him. After their kiss during the festival, he couldn’t chase off the excitement. It was new, unknown, and it felt good. 

“Hello there, Saihara-chan!” he heard and only then noticed that he closed his eyes. Kokichi was standing in front of him, gentle breeze combing his hair. His hand was holding his bangs as he smiled gently. 

“Hi,” Shuichi couldn’t help but smile, too.

“I’m going to the classroom, see you there.” Amami, who was next to them said and not saying hello, walked away.

“So, are you two living close to each other? You always walk to the school together…” 

“Is Saihara-chan jealous?” Kokichi laughed, 

“Ah, I-”

“Don’t worry, Amami-chan is like a brother to me! No need for jealousy!” 

“I see…” they entered the school building, heading towards their classroom, chatting meaninglessly. 

“-protecting that little shit!” they heard Kaito’s voice. There he was, in the corridor, arguing with Kaede.

“Please, Momota-kun! Let him be…”

“I can’t! I can’t just sit and watch him be happy when Maki Roll is in a coma!” 

“Nobody has to help you with this anger. It’s your own problem. And you have no right to assault someone because you feel angry! I’m willing to help you as much as I can because I believe we’re friends. But I can’t let you hurt someone!”

“You’re saying that because you don’t have a soulmate, now leave me alone.” and he walked away, leaving Kaede alone.

“Kaede? Are you okay?” Shuichi asked, approaching her. 

“Ah, yeah. Yeah.” she smiled, “Full of hope! Today we’ll be choosing our final work topics after all! I wonder what should I play! Maybe I’ll collaborate with Kaori-chan from the senior class and play Rondo Capriccioso? I don’t know, I don’t know!”

“O-oh…” he was taken aback. Somehow, she reminded him of Kokichi. He couldn’t tell what was she really thinking about. 

“What topic will you choose?” 

“Ah, I-”

“You should totally solve a murder case! It would be so cool!” Kokichi interjected.

“Yeah, that’d be impressive!” Kaede echoed.

“Ah, if you think this is some kind of game…” Shuichi trailed off, noticing he was saying the exact same words Hiroshi said.

“Of course it is a game. Everything is if you’re brave enough!” Kokichi smiled. 

“That’s just-” 

“Anyway! Class is about to start!” Akamatsu exclaimed and led the way to the classroom. 

Everyone besides Kaito was already there and Kirumi handed each of them a form. 

“It will affect your grade, so choose your topic wisely.” she said, “You have the time to the end of the month.” 

Shuichi had absolutely no idea what to write. Confused, he looked at Kokichi. The boy was playing with his pen, his expression of thoughtfulness. He noticed his gaze and smiled widely, the pen falling to the ground. Shuichi quickly fetched it and as he was about to return it, his gaze settled on Kokichi’s form. 

In the talent section, there was written: the Ultimate Supreme Leader, just as the boy said. 

“How is that possible?” he uttered, 

“What is?” Kokichi tilted his head, puzzled.

“Your talent,”

“Ah,” he grinned, “I told you! I have this giant organization of over 10 000 members!”

“Can you tell me at least one true thing?” 

“No can do!” he stuck his tongue out in a teasing manner. Shuichi smiled. Soon, the teacher started a lesson. 

During the break, Kokichi went to the toilet, and as soon as he was gone, Amami appeared in front of Shuichi. 

“Hey,” he said, “I’ve heard about the kiss…”

“Ah,” Shuichi felt his cheeks heating up from embarrassment.

“I just hope you know what you’re doing. Ouma can be difficult. I don’t want you to abandon him once you realize it’s too much for you.”

“Ah, yeah. I know he’s… extraordinary, but-”

“You don’t know. You don’t know anything about him. I’ve lived with him the majority of my life and  _ I _ don’t really know!”

“Lived with him? You mean, you two live together?”

“That’s like, the least important thing right now.”

“Well, I… I won’t abandon him. Never.”

“I hope you know what you’re saying. Because my theory is, that you’re interested in him because he’s a mystery. And once you solve it, there won’t be anything keeping you near him.”

“That’s-”

“True, right?”

“Awful…”

Amami sighed, “I just don’t want him to get hurt. He gets easily attached. Especially since you two are soulmates, it fills him with emotions he didn’t know he could experience. So make up your mind quickly.”

“How do you know all of this?” 

“You have a tendency to focus on irrelevant things, Saihara-kun.”

“Okay. I don’t plan on giving up on him.”

“I hope you mean it,” 

And then, Kokichi returned and with a wide grin walked up to them.

“I sense gossips!” he exclaimed.

“Your senses failed you, then.” Amami shrugged.

“Is Amami-chan playing big brother again?” he leaned towards Shuichi and whispered theatrically, “I think he might have some issues.”

“You want me to tell Saihara-kun what you’ve said about him?” Amami grinned, “How was it? ‘Saihara-chan is calm and collected and really treats me well. He says only what is proper or true and-’”

“Oooh? Do you really want to play that card? Amami-chan, choose wisely!”

It was as if they were arguing, but both of them were smiling. It really did seem as if they were siblings. Shuichi couldn’t help but smile. At that moment, everything was perfect. 

Then, the door opened and Kaito stormed in.

“Maki Roll woke up!” 


	10. Chapter 10

Everyone cheered. They started to congratulate Kaito and the atmosphere lightened up. Shuichi, with a smile, looked at Kokichi, thinking he would be relieved as well, but no. Kokichi was frozen, his expression of pure shock. He gulped down loudly and Shuichi could’ve sworn he was trembling. 

“Kokichi? Are you okay?” he asked. 

The boy grinned, “Dandy!”

“But you-”

“Everyone here is invited to my house on Friday! We’re gonna party!” Kaito shouted, with a smile so bright Shuichi had to squint his eyes. 

When he looked where Kokichi was standing, the boy was once again gone. 

“Huh?” he looked around, but couldn’t see him anywhere.

“Get used to it,” Amami patted his shoulder, “He does it all the time.”

“But why? What happened?”

“If there’s one thing you can be certain of when it comes to Ouma, it’s that he’s a liar. I thought you’d know it by now.”

“He… lied? About what?”

Amami laughed, “Maybe it’d be easier to tell what he  _ didn’t  _ lie about.”

Shuichi felt… disappointed. He hoped that as Kokichi’s soulmate, he’d have the privilege to know the truth. But then again, maybe Kokichi didn’t find this soulmate thing as important as he did. And it was disappointing. 

The kiss, it was crucial to Shuichi. A point in their relationship that changed everything. He wished to know Kokichi’s opinion. He wished to know his thoughts, his dreams, his hopes. And he wished Kokichi wished the same.

The next day, the police car parked in front of the school was the first thing that told him something was off. Then, he noticed two policemen talking with Kaito, Kaede sitting on a bench nearby, as if waiting for her turn. Momota was angry, he was waving his hands around as he spoke. Kaede, on the other hand, was looking at the ground with a worried expression. 

“What’s going on?” Shuichi asked, sitting down next to her. 

“They’re taking our testimony,” she explained briefly. 

“About the accident?” 

“Yeah,”

And then, Kaito approached them, “Hey, Akamatsu, now’s your turn. Sup, Saihara?”

Kaede went to talk to the policemen and Kaito took her seat. “Hi, Momota-kun. You seem happy.”

“Hell yeah! Maki Roll woke up and the little shit will pay!” 

“You mean Kokichi? But-”

“Hello there, Saihara-chan!” he heard Kokichi’s voice and turned around to see him grinning widely. He couldn’t help but smile, too. 

“Hi, Kokichi,”

“What are you two gossiping about?” 

“It’s none of your business, go away,” Kaito interjected. 

“It clearly is my business, I heard my name, you moron.”

“Who are you calling moron!?” 

“Neeheehee~ Momota-kun is getting angry!”

Shuichi didn’t get it. Kokichi got hit by Kaito, he shouldn’t be provoking him. And yet, there he was, fearless. Brave.  _ Brave…  _

And as Kaito was about to say something, Kaede bumped into him, trying to pass him by.

“I’m sorry! I wasn’t looking-” the tears were falling from her eyes and she tried to wipe them off, but then she looked at Kokichi and burst out crying, “I’m sorry, Ouma-kun. I’m sorry…” and she ran away. 

Kokichi’s eyes widened, and Shuichi could almost hear his heartbeat. But he blinked and he was back to normal.

“Hey, Akamatsu!” Kaito shouted and ran after her. 

Two policemen approached them.

“Kokichi Ouma...” one of them murmured, “We’re gonna ask you a few questions, it’s not going to take long.” 

“Sure thing!” 

“Who was driving the car when the accident happened?” 

Shuichi noticed Kokichi looked at him for a moment so short he could be imagining it. Then, the boy smiled and said: “Harukawa-chan, of course.”

One of the policemen noted something in his notebook.

“I see. We’ll contact you soon, don’t leave the town.”

Kokichi’s smile faded as soon as the policemen turned away.

The rest of the week was uneventful but kinda weird. Kaito was awfully happy and Kaede terribly sad. He wanted to ask them about what really happened to Harukawa because he already noticed Kokichi wasn’t telling the truth, but there wasn’t a single occasion. Soon, the party at Kaito’s place approached. 

Momota lived in an apartment on the 3rd floor with his grandparents. The apartment was spacious and the whole class fit in without a problem. Shuichi was surprised to see Kokichi among the others. 

“Hey! What are you doing here?” he asked boldly. 

The boy laughed. The music was so loud he could barely hear it. “It’s a crazy story! I was going to the grocery store when I accidentally took the wrong path and ended up here.”

“Very funny,” he said but smiled nonetheless. 

“I’m known for being funny,”

“No, seriously. Why would you come to Momota-kun’s party?” 

Kokichi smiled his sly smile and said: “Well, he said that everyone’s invited.” 

“Yeah, but why did you even  _ want  _ to come?”

“Oh, Saihara-chan, I’m starting to think you don’t want me here!”

“Ah, no!” he shouted, abashed, “That’s not it! I’m just surprised to see you here.”

“I like to surprise!” 

“I bet.”

“Let’s have some fun, Saihara-chan!”

They drank and laughed a lot, playing all kinds of drinking games and just talking. Mostly joking around. Every time Shuichi wanted to start a more serious conversation, Kokichi turned it into a joke. 

And so, a few drinks later, he found himself unable to stand straight. And somehow, everything seemed more beautiful. And by everything he meant one petite, purple-haired boy, who was standing in front of him. His hair was messy and face red, and as he laughed, his swollen cheek seemed even bigger. But Shuichi found it all beautiful. 

He reached out and touched his cheek gently, not really comprehending what he was doing. 

“What are you doing, Saihara-chan?” Kokichi laughed.

Shuichi loved that laugh. He leaned in a bit, but then Kokichi grabbed his hand and dragged him to another room. It was the bathroom but he didn’t even look around, Kokichi taking all of his attention. He grabbed the boy’s head and leaned in for a kiss.

He felt Kokichi smile and asked: “What’s wrong?” 

He was silent for a moment, a smile printed on his face, “Nothing,” and as the boy linked their lips once more, Shuichi noticed that Kokichi’s hands were shaking.

He should’ve asked why. But in his drunken state, all he could think about was that he  _ could,  _ in fact _ , _ kiss the boy. And so he did. One, two, three… he didn’t want to stop. He was unable to do so. He needed more and more. 

But then, a single tear fell down to the floor. There was no mistaking it - Kokichi was crying. 

“What’s wrong?” Shuichi started to panic. He thought the boy wanted it as well, but maybe-

“I have to find Amami-chan,” and he ran, leaving Shuichi dumbfounded. “Bye, Saihara-chan.” he heard before Kokichi disappeared in the crowd. 

“Finally!” shocked and drunk, Shuichi still recognized Kaede’s voice. The girl was sitting in the bathtub, drinking something blue. 

“Ah-! For how long have you-”

“I don’t know!” she laughed. “An hour, maybe?”

“Why would you sit in a bathtub for an hour?”

“I don’t feel like talking to anyone.”

“Why did you come to the party, then?”

“To get wasted, of course!” she laughed again. 

Shuichi was going to say something but wasn’t even sure what. He sighed, and sat down on the floor, his legs giving up. 

“So you two official?” Kaede blurted out. 

“Ah! I-I… I don’t know…”

She laughed, “I mean, you’re kissing in front of other people!”

“I didn’t know you were here!” 

She just kept laughing. 

“Hey, Kaede…”

“Yeah?”

“What really happened to Harukawa?”

“You know the story! A car crashed!” she said, somewhat cheerful.

“But whose fault was it?”

And Kaede looked down at her drink, suddenly serious.

“Ouma was driving if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I knew it!” but he shouldn’t be proud. He just found out a horrible truth. The truth he didn’t want to be true. 

“We lied to protect him, doctors said that Harukawa-chan probably won’t wake up and now…” she started crying as she spoke, “I had no choice but to tell the truth! Ouma is doomed!”

Shuichi didn’t know what to say. 

“It’s okay,” he uttered, “I need to find him,”

“Yeah,” 

So he left Kaede in the bathroom and ran around the apartment in search of his soulmate. He didn’t have to search long. He just followed the crowd that was gathered near the balcony.

There they were - Kokichi, Amami and Kaito, the whole class watching them. He pushed his way through the crowd. 

“-Akabayashi-san! He told me what you’ve told them! You lying little shit!” Kaito shouted, his fists clenched. 

Kokichi just shrugged, “What are you gonna do about it?” 

“Oh, trust me, you don’t want to find out!” 

“Well, you’ll force me to, won’t you?” 

Kaito laughed, “Guess you do have a brain, then!” 

Kokichi snorted, “Shame you don’t.”

“You’re so dead.”

And then, Kaito took a step forward. And another one. He reached out towards Kokichi’s neck, but then Amami grabbed his wrist. 

“Over my dead body.”

Momota’s expression was of pure madness. Shuichi swallowed down, scared like a little child. He didn’t have the courage to interfere, even when he saw Kokichi’s expression. The boy was smiling cockily, but his eyes were full of fear. Things were out of his control now.  _ Kaito  _ was out of control. 

“Move,” he said, pushing Amami aside. He grabbed Kokichi’s neck. The boy didn’t fight back. He just smirked. “Stop smiling, you freak!” 

Kaito pushed Kokichi against the fence, but his smile was still in place. 

“Let him go!” Amami threw himself at Momota, and he lost his grip on the boy. They both fell to the ground. 

“Fine, if you want to die so badly, I’ll grant your wish!” Kaito got up, dragging Amami with him. He pushed the boy against the fence so strongly, his feet didn’t touch the ground anymore. 

Kokichi, who fell to the floor, kicked Kaito between his legs. He screamed, letting Amami go. 

It seemed as if the time stopped. No one dared to breathe, no one dared to move. It was Kokichi who broke the silence.

“AMAMI-CHAN!” 

The boy fell off. 


	11. Chapter 11

Shuichi couldn’t believe his eyes. No one could. Kokichi ran out of the apartment, his face so pale and expression so fearful, Shuichi’s heart physically hurt. 

Kaito was looking at his hands, his expression similar to Kokichi’s. He didn’t dare to move. 

“What the hell happened here?” Kaede asked. She probably just got out of the bathroom. 

Everyone looked away. Shuichi swallowed down and said, “Amami-kun fell from the balcony.”

“W-what!? How?”

“It’s my fault. It’s my fucking fault…” Kaito murmured. 

“I can’t believe it. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid. This is what your stupid conflict led to! Wouldn’t it be easier to just forgive?”

Kaito sat on the floor, his face showing pure despair. 

“Kirumi, call-”

“Understood.”

“Where’s Ouma-kun?” 

“He ran away.”

“Go find him.”

Shuichi nodded and exited the apartment. 

Amami was lying on the ground with Kokichi by his side. He was conscious but for some reason wasn’t moving. Kokichi was muttering something and as Shuichi approached, he could hear that it was “I’m sorry” repeated over and over again. 

“Hey…” he murmured, uncertain. 

“Saihara-kun, hi,” Amami said, visibly in pain.

“Are you okay? Can you stand up?”

“I don’t know, I can’t really move much,” he laughed awkwardly. 

“Maybe let’s wait for the ambulance, it could be dangerous to move you right now. You may have broken something…”

Amami nodded and Shuichi looked at Kokichi. The boy was looking down, at his hands. His face was so painful Shuichi could feel this pain. 

“Kokichi? Are you okay?”

He snorted, “Yeah, my best friend just fell from the balcony, but I’m 100% fine.”

“I-”

“Saihara-kun is just worried about you, Ouma.” Amami interjected, “He has every right to be.”

Kokichi sighed, “Yeah yeah, whatever. I’m as fine as can be.” and then he looked up, “What about Momota-chan?”

“Huh? Uh… He’s pretty shaken up.” Saihara said, thrown off. 

Kokichi nodded, deep in thought. 

“Oh God, Amami-kun! Are you alright?” they heard Kaede’s voice as she ran up to them, some of their classmates following her. Shuichi couldn’t find Kaito among them. 

They all gathered around Rantaro and soon, Shuichi lost sight of both him and Kokichi. A few minutes of meaningless standing around later the ambulance arrived and took Amami to the nearest hospital. Shuichi wanted to talk to Kokichi about earlier and maybe try to cheer him up, but the boy was already gone. Where? He could only guess. With Kokichi it was always just a guess. Shuichi wasn’t certain of anything about the boy. Whether he loved it or hated it, he wasn’t sure.

“He’ll be alright!” Kaede’s voice and her hand on his shoulder chased the thought away. “Both of them will.”

“Why are you so sure?”

The girl closed her eyes with a smile, “I’m not. But hope is all we have left.” the wind brushed her hair gently and Shuichi could only stare as she stood tall, strong. “It’s like an umbrella in the rain. The last shield you have against despair.”

“You’re full of cheesy rain metaphors.” 

And she laughed. 

One by one, his classmates went home and soon Kaede was the only one who remained. 

“I’ll go check up on Momota-kun,” she said, “You go find your soulmate.”

“Let me go with you. I need some answers from Momota-kun.”

“It’s really not a good time to question him…”

“I’ll be careful.”

She sighed, “Alright, let’s go.”

Kaito was sitting on the ground, just like they left him earlier. 

“Momota-kun?” Kaede approached him, while Shuichi stayed behind.

“Leave me alone.” he murmured with a voice so dark, chills ran down Shuichi’s spine. 

“Yes, you keep saying it, but it’s crucial for you to  _ not  _ be alone right now.” she crouched next to him.

“Just leave.”

“It was just an accident, Amami-kun will be alright, and I’m sure he’s not angry!”

“Just fucking leave!” 

“Now, I’ll help you stand up-” 

She grabbed Kaito’s hand-

“JUST FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE!” 

-and fell to the floor as he pushed her. 

Shuichi froze. Kaede didn’t move and Kaito looked at his hands with fear. 

“Just leave…” he murmured, closing his eyes.

And then, he heard a sob. Kaede was trembling, and he could see tears falling to the floor. She got up slowly, her face of pure sadness and without saying a word, she exited the apartment. 

Shuichi hesitated, looking at Kaito. The boy put on an angry face and said:

“Leave, Saihara.”

“But-”

“Leave, or you’ll be the next one to fall down from the balcony.”

Shuichi swallowed down and walked out. He closed the door behind him and leaned on it with a sigh. He could faintly hear a sobbing sound coming from the apartment. 

He went home, feeling defeated and tired. There was so much going on inside his head he slouched under the weight of his thoughts. He vaguely remembered what happened, but in his drunken state memories seemed to be running away from him. Like Kokichi who was god knows where doing god knows what. 

Shuichi was angry. At Kaito, for his aggression. At Kaede, for being too nice for her own good. At Kokichi, for running away. For his “goodbye”. For playing with him and his feelings. But most of all, he was angry at himself. He wasn’t able to interfere - when Kaito was fighting with Amami and Kokichi, or when Kaede was trying to talk to the boy. He wasn’t able to protect anyone. He was weak.

“What are you doing home so early?” Hiroshi asked as soon as he entered his apartment. He was drinking, obviously, sitting on the couch.

“Amami-kun fell from the balcony,” he sat down next to his uncle and accepted the bottle he was offered. 

Hiroshi laughed, “How did it happen?”

“Stop laughing!” Shuichi scolded him, “I don’t even know. They were fighting, Momota-kun and Kokichi and Amami-kun protected Kokichi and Momota-kun was holding Amami-kun and Kokichi kicked Momota-kun and Amami-kun fell off.”

“I didn’t understand a word!” 

“Momota-kun and-”

“No, we’ll talk once you’re sober, kid.”

“Look who’s talking! You’re  _ never  _ sober!”

Hiroshi opened his mouth to say something but then closed them. 

“You’re right, kid,” he said after an awkwardly long moment. 

“Okay. Let’s talk once we’re both sober.”

Hiroshi nodded, “It’s a promise.”

And Shuichi believed him.

The next day he woke up feeling thirsty. There was a faint throbbing pain in his head and he didn’t feel well in general. The moment Kaito let go of Amami was playing on repeat in his head, and Kokichi’s “bye, Saihara-chan” was ringing in his ears. He was unable to focus, he was thinking and thinking relentlessly about yesterday. He was lying on his bed, trying to change the way he felt, but he couldn’t. He kept on feeling sorry for himself until his phone rang. 

“Hi!” Kaede greeted him cheerfully, but Shuichi could hear the uncertainty in her voice.

“Hey, what’s up?” 

“I’m going to visit Amami-kun today. Ouma-kun probably will be there, too. Do you want to join me?”

He did. He desperately wanted to talk to Kokichi. And Kaede knew it. 

“Why?”

“I don’t want to go alone. Please, Shuichi.”

“Okay,”

And less than an hour later, he was standing near the hospital entrance, waiting for Kaede. At first, he waited patiently but when half an hour had passed, he started to lose this patience. 

“Ah, I’m sorry, Shuichi, something came up-” she said when he called her, “- I won’t be able to accompany you. Tell Amami-kun I said hi, though!” and she hung up before he could say anything. He called her again, but she didn’t answer. 

He sighed and after hesitating for a second, he entered the building. A nice nurse told him where to find Amami and he slowly made his way there. 

He heard voices, but couldn’t make out any words. And as he walked into the room, everyone stopped talking. There he was - Amami, lying on one of the beds, Kokichi sitting next to him, so close that Shuichi felt uncomfortable about it. They were looking at each other for an awfully long moment. 

And then, Amami smiled, “Saihara-kun, hi.”

“Ah, yeah, hi.” he stuttered.

“Ouma, maybe you’ll go buy some coffee?”

“Are you kicking me out? I’m hurt!” but he was smiling.

“Yeah, yeah, now go.” 

And he did.

“So, Saihara-kun, what brings you here?” Amami asked as soon as Kokichi disappeared in the corridor. 

“I- uh… Kaede says hi.”

“And you came all the way here just to tell me that?” he smiled.

“Ah-”

“It’s okay. I know you want to talk to Ouma. I’m glad you’re here, actually. There’s something going on inside that head of his and I think you’re the only one who can help him. He won’t talk to me about it.”

“Yeah. He told me ‘goodbye’ at the party and I-.”

“He did?” Amami’s eyes widened, and he scratched his chin in thought. “Okay, I know exactly what’s going on. Saihara-kun, I must ask you to beat his stupid ideas out of his head, okay? Tell him it was the dumbest thing he’s ever come up with.”

“But what is going on?”

“I can’t tell you, he’ll just lie about it. You have to make him confess.”

“How?”

“You’ll think of something. Now, just one more thing before you go.”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t get scared. He might seem intimidating, but he’s just a scared child. He’ll try to push you away, so don’t let him. Now go.” 

And Shuichi smiled, full of hope. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! It's been a long time since I updated! I've been busy with my finals and I was writing a song! Yeah, another song about Kokichi! He's the best boy <3 if any of you would like to check it out, here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vG-wrU76ZRg   
> Hope you enjoy!


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